Posted by Perry on March 18, 2005 at 17:47:43
In Reply to: Re: One question at a time posted by Monika Kosz on March 18, 2005 at 13:53:40:
I obviously touched a raw nerve with you. That happens to me a lot too, but I was in a cult for 20 years; what's your excuse? In the cult I couldn't freely express how I was feeling, and I'm only now learning how to fully and honestly express emotions that I couldn't in the cult. I repressed normal emotions, such as anger, for many many years, so now I sometimes go overboard, especially when certain things trigger me. Eventually I hope to get to a place where I can feel and express emotions in as healthy and unharmful way as possible.
You say: "I did not think that I need to demonstrate my knowledge to get the answers from you. I prepared the questions with the person who is a sociologist with vast experience in organziational behavior and I think I did not take them out of the blue."
I never suggested that you took your questions "out of the blue," or that you are not working with an experienced sociologist. What I suggested is that you should do your "homework" better first before expecting cult survivors to hand you the answers you are looking for in a neat little package. Most of us are taking years to unravel the madness of our former lives, and going through hell in the process (I speak for myself on that last point). I don't think you really do "understand the harm that was done to [us} by the sect," unless you too were in one as destructive as TF.
You seem to feel that it is not necessary for you to demonstrate your knowledge of this cult, before expecting to get answers from us. I think that is arrogant of you to think so, especially given the amount of information already available about TF. By asking questions here, that are already answered elsewhere, you demonstrate (to me at least)intellectual laziness.
If, for example, instead of asking a general, wide-open question about the "structure" of TF, you asked a more focused question that demonstrated that you had already a basic understanding of TF based on what is easily available to you, then perhaps I or others would be more inclined, and more able to answer you.
By the way, when your project is completed, will you make it available for us, or do you intend to just take advantage of us, like the cult did.
I know I probably sound bitter and angry to you, but I'm actually a really nice guy. :-) However, you are touching on some raw nerves here, and this is one result. Believe it or not, I honestly hope you do well with your project, because any exposure of cults/sects/new religious movements is a good thing. I just hope you get it right.
I wonder what your "sociologist with vast experience in organziational behavior" (your spelling) would think of this message if you showed it to her/him?