God spoke to me during breakfast this morning

Posted by Mommy Mama on February 20, 2004 at 15:46:40

He told me that I was His wonderful child, blessed above all women and that all generations would call me blessed. He said I was Aphrodite, the goddess of love and that my nakedness would astound and woo the nations. Isn't that wonderful? He also said not to worry about my oversized butt and buck teeth. He also told me many other wonderful things about myself, but I hesitate to share these self-glorifying prophecies here on a Backslider's Board because you are unworthy swine who would only trample my pearls of great wisdom underfoot.

I will tell you one prophecy however. I have long wondered whether I was actually the most spiritually sensitive, caring and tender Shepherdess on earth, and this morning when I asked God, he said, "Why do ye doubt? Ye are humble above all women. Truly I have given thee the wisdom of the sages of the ages. You see clearly into the hearts of the hurting and wounded and with tender hands heal and encourage."

Those of you backslidden bastards who think I'm a wicked witch, I guess you just got put in your place! hee hee