I know there is a legitmate discussion regarding hurts of the past with regard to SGs, and that they are rightfully angry at the things that have happened to them.
I came to this board originally as "goth88" and I was very angry. I also had little info. about what occured to SG after I left. It is difficult to come to a board for your own delayed or recent healing and deal with the justified anger of SGs who some of them seem to have a call to arms for all FGs to turn themselves into police for not going to the law when the children first began to be groomed towards sexual abuse. This was around the period that I left. I didn't choose to leave as in making a premeditated jump out of the family but I leapt out when there was a break and my mind was on the brink.
Before getting to that brink I had been sexually abused within the group, as well as emotionally and physically, and I could not handle it. It was triggering too many things (the unwanted "sharing" with insistant others and the FFing doctrines and the start of orgies as communions where when the first one I witnessed happened, I and another girl did not know what was to happen. We were "dealt with" very severely for our resistance. Perhaps I should explain a few short days to give an idea.
The small apt. home I was adults except for my kids and a toddler from another W. German girl. One woman arrived on our doorstep, she was probably a deposed leader being dealt with, having been sent to our small town. She latched onto an ff'er woman and then some "brothers" came thru to bring lit. At dinner that night the "brothers" discussed which sister they wanted to sleep with. I did not even know this had happened. Thus far I had read about stuff but not experienced it. Those two "sisters" (the deposed leader and the ff'er became "shepherds. There was a guy there that hte FF'er wanted and so she and the deposed sister decided that I should service her french companion "brother". I turned it down. I didn't think that much of that "choice" until later. A few nights later, "brothers" from the road came in and a team from a nearby apt. I was not in on what was to happen. (because of my "rebellious" self) The "sisters" all went into the bathroom and came out disrobed. We thought it was just going to be an "inspiration". All of the people there knew what was to happen except for a W. German girl with a toddler and myself and my kids. The danced naked to the music and everyone started stripping (except for us) and said there was going to be a "cum-union", something the deposed leader girl brought from here higher up place that I did not know then. There was one big orgy about to take place. The w. german girl grabbed her child and left and i grabbed my kids and shut us up in a bedroom. They fell asleep, and I pretended to be asleep as different naked brothers came in trying to help me to get the victory. I "chose" to not get the victory. Then the next morning there was a devotions and "The Girl Who Wouldn't" letter was read for my *benefit*. I was called out on the carpet and there was shouting at me, prophecy and tongues, halabalala bah bullshit, and then "God" spoke and said that if i would offend the least of these it were better for me to be drowned in the sea with a millstone. Yes god's little prophets used that on me. That day I was abandoned in that town with my kids after I was sent off to litness. The "shepherds" went elsewhere and I was alone in a foreign country with nowhere to go and no relatives or connections outside of the family. A "brother" was sent to live there and help pay rent. I would take my kids and go to restaurants and sit them down to eat while I sang and raised money. He came to my room naked for a few nights and in pity for my soul wanted to fuck me and I "chose" not to. Then I was completely abandoned and already I was having very serious panic attacks day and night.
Then a small family passed thru with a trailer and we left with them...
This is ONE SMALL SNIPPET of what I went thru as an FGA.