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Posted by lydia on May 19, 2005 at 14:34:12

In Reply to: did you ever not enjoy sex? posted by Mr. Q on May 19, 2005 at 14:24:31:

And it never occured to me to ask, I thought eveyone felt the same as I did.

But from what some have said, they DID tell their husbands that they didn't want to, and they were beaten or forced or told they were selfish and MADE to go.

That is horrible and I feel terrible that by my opening that agency it may have forced some into something they wouldn't have done otherwise. But as I said, it wasn't successful and didn't last long, and as far as I knew the sisters were already working for other agencies.

I do blame Berg for his doctrines. I truly believed I was doing God's service in having sex with these men, and I did enjoy it, because I really was deluded enough to believe I truly loved these guys, there wasn't ever a time I felt diry or degraded because I was so blinded by our supposed freedom and joy to share this love.

It wasn't until I studied the Bible (out of the Family) and realised how evil it was what I did. Then the shame came and the repentance.

I wish I had known that women didn't feel the same way I did about it. But I was stupidly blind.