Posted by Abused on January 26, 2010 at 02:50:48
In Reply to: Re: interesting article posted by excog on January 24, 2010 at 14:12:00:
I am male, and was abused as a child by an adult male relative. It was very uncomfortable, disgusting and confusing. It wasn't physically violent, I wasn't hit, slapped around or held down, but I was forced through intimidation. I was sick and puking afterward, but too young to understand what was really going on.
Adults around me who found out what had happened were infuriated, and from there I figured something bad had happened. Looking back now, I feel lucky that people around me were actually aware of the wrongness of sexual abuse, because on the other hand, I had grown up witnessing a lot of adult-child sexual activity and people always looked the other way. You'd never know from what I was exposed to growing up, that it was something very wrong at all.
What happened to me probably affected me for life in ways I may even not be aware of. I've lived with an eternal sense of betrayal all my life because of this incident and the treatment in general by other adults in my life. This and a string of other adult betrayals left me searching for genuine trust and genuine love, which only brought me to the COG, and I was betrayed me even more. It was all connected, I'm sure.
I never forgot what happened, but had put it aside enough to be able to meet up with my abuser on occasion like nothing had ever happened. It was only in later years, like 25 or 30 years later, that it began to bother me. I don't know if this was triggered by media misportrayals of what sexual abuse is, or by my coming to this site, but my sense that I was wronged grew and grew. I eventually confronted my abuser only 2 years ago, more than 40 years after the deed.
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