In Reply to: Re: Was blocked yesterday posted by Farmer on February 04, 2007 at 12:37:58:
When you used the analogy of race, you brought to my attention something that I feel very strongly about. I think the problem (and yes I define it as a "problem") might be old vs. new thinking. Your way being the old.
To you, is Tiger Woods black or "Negro" as you put it? Is Norah Jones a "Paki" to you or does her music sound Indie to you?
http://www.tolerance.org/teach/web/power_of_words/pdf/power_words_lesson_8.pdf
Have you heard about the "Gwai-Loh of Canton" - the only blond and blue-eyed farmer in communist China, who was completely Chinese, but of English blood?
I have always had trouble with people who press for confirmations about their own perceptions of who/what a person is, not accepting the answers they give for themselves.
In the US, where virtually everyone is an immigrant, when someone asks where you come from, and you say New York, the big melting pot, most people will accept it, whether you look black, brown or pink. If you have a strange accent, out of interest, they might ask when you when you moved to New York and where from. If they have any more questions, it is usually out of friendly chit chat and curiosity, rather than unacceptance. You won't hardly find anyone who will say "you can't say you're from New York because you're really from _________" or "come on, why don't you admit where you are really from!?"
In contrast, in other countries which do not have (or do not realize they have) a melting pot of ethnic mixes, if you don't fit their idea of what American, English or German looks like, they will keep on asking about you origins until you give them an answer they want to hear. I've seen black Americans being grilled repeatedly, "but where do you REALLY come from?" by educated Europeans, who want to hear the answer "Africa" and not "America," even though they ought to know better how insulting that is. If they know anything about American history and the slave trade, they would understand that these are descendants many generations down, who are Americans by birth and right, and hardly African in language or culture. I have also seen people having trouble with Korean adoptees who answer to "where are you from?" by saying they are Swedish, or German, or Finnish. I've also seen black French not being accepted for saying they are Parisians, and explainng themselves to at least 25 follow-up questions.
There have even been ridiculous debates about how many generations one's family has been living in a country before they are allowed to stop calling themselves immigrants.
I have two friends who face the dilemma of who they are inside vs. how people perceive or want to perceive them.
One friend of mine is of Czech descent, was born in a Scandinavian country, grew up there, spoke the language, and was by all definitions fully integrated. No one ever suspected anything about him being a foreigner. Inside however, he always felt different, like he wasn't home. He ended up going "back to his roots" and now lives in Prague as a Czech, and no one there suspects he wasn't born there. Is he really Scandinavian? or Czech?
Another friend of mine is of mostly Chinese descent, was born in England, grew up there for 10 years, then, being the child of diplomats, moved from country to country. As a child when he lived in Asia, he din't feel Asian, but rather English. When he finally went home to England as an adult, England wasn't home anymore, and he didn't feel English. Now he winces everytime he says he was born in England, and is made to prove his "Englishness" by people who don't accept his answer. He never says he's Chinese either, because he doesn't feel the slightest bit Chinese, but just looks that way. His parents are Canadian and British, of Asian descent, several generations down.
He feels like he doesn't belong anywhere. The 200 pressing questions he gets are unfair, because some other "invisible" immigrant, say an European migrant worker who looks "English" enough and says he is from England, never ever gets quizzed. To top it off, some people are actually arrogant and ignorant enough to tell him it is a shame he missed out on his own language and culture. He doesn't feel he's missed out on anything, just that he doesn't have answers people want to hear.
If the world is full of "Cablinasians" like Tiger Woods, or the ethnically ambiguous like Jessica Alba, Eva Green, Mariah Carey, Christina Aguilera, Derek Jeter, Susie Guillory Phipps; not to mention the culturally complicated mixes that can get thrown in; then spiritually speaking, why would it be any less complicated? Let's not even get started on how there is bologically speaking not even such a thing as a pure male and female.
My point is that it isn't relevant how much we try to categorize someone according to our own perceptions. What matters is how they feel about themselves. We should be more accepting of the answers they give about themselves, even if we don't fathom it due to our own limitations. It might not be that they don't "have the courage" like you say, to admit to a "label if it fits." Maybe there is no easy label that fits.