Will the real Jesus please stand up?

Posted by Thinker on October 15, 2008 at 23:47:17

I wrote that Jesus was the original Socialist.

Sawyer wrote that "[Christians on the left] say that the Jesus of the Bible is not the real Jesus at all..."

Then I got to wondering who Sawyer's real Jesus was, and how we know it when we have the real Jesus.

I have collected proof that Jesus was Mexican:
- He was bilingual
- He was always harrassed by authorities
- His first name was Jesus

I have proof that he was black:
- He called everybody "brother"
- He liked gospel
- He couldn't get a fair trial

I have evidence He was Italian:
- He talked with his hands
- He had wine with every meal
- He used olive oil

But He was most definitely Irish too:
- He never got married
- He was always telling stories
- He loved green pastures

Or could He been Californian?
- He never cut his hair
- He walked around barefoot
- He started a new religion

There are those who know for sure He was Jewish because:
- He went into his father's business
- He lived at home until he was 33
- He was sure his mother was a virgin, and his mother was sure he was God

Some even claimed He had to be a woman:
- He had to feed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food
- He kept trying to get the message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it
- Even when he was dead, he had to get up because there was more work for him to do

Do we not each of us filter Jesus through our own bias?