In Reply to: Re: Define "rescue" posted by FamilyHater on November 17, 2009 at 17:04:37:
If she is of legal age then leaving is technically not a problem. She would have left a long time ago if she wanted to, if it weren't for other invisible chains holding her there. I am assuming that she is in some kind of weakened state, already now, before leaving.
Sometimes someone like you coming along can be the catalyst, helping to solidify her decision to leave, giving her courage. But in that way, if you aim to be there for her, you will then take on a serious responsibility and should see it through and not let her down. She will be leaning on you heavily. you will be her link to the outside world. You should ask yourself if you're ready and able to to do that.
The main thing that can keep her from leaving is fear of the unknown: how will I live, where will I live, how will I support myself? Members often exit with varying degrees of disability, without any basic knowledge about simple things like checking accounts or driving cars. If you aim to be there for her through this process, you have to tell her that you'll help her with such things.
The first big obstacle to her leaving is her being strong enough to stand up to her leaders and peers when she announces her intentions. They will try everything from exorcism to laying of hands to convincing her that it's not her talking but rather the Devil talking through her, etc. TFI says that they will not discourage people from leaving, but that is usually not true. She should be prepared for a possible confrontation, even blackmail.
When she leaves, she is supposed to get at least a bus or plane ticket to wherever she wants to go, but there are no guarantees. She may need money for her tickets.
If things go the way they usually do for people who leave the cult, they will need to detox, process all the trauma. This is best done with the help of professionals in places like Meadow Haven (look it up on the net). If you are her link, she will still need to stay in contact with you.
The next steps will be her trying to reinvent herself. She may want to pursue higher education, make something of herself. But she may not know where to begin. That is when peers, other people who have exited, can be of great help. She should be in contact with them ideally before leaving. She will find it difficult/impossible to survive the exit without a support network of some kind.
She will also need her space. A lot of people try to use newly-exited people for information, for affidavits for legal proceedings, for statements, etc. But she may need the time to distance herself from all things TFI for her own sanity's sake.