In Reply to: Re: Loving the father I hate posted by Farmer on January 23, 2010 at 12:05:26:
Farmer:
I just found out yesterday that I must have misunderstood a psychiatric diagnosis I got a couple of years ago, right after a suicide attempt I made when my then wife ended our marriage and brought her junkie daughter and drug-peddling grandson to live in my place.
It turns out I was never Type II Bipolar. I have alwasy been Type I (much more severe), and it likely began at military school; where my father sent me when I was 12. I had begun school a year early with a December birthday, and had skipped the Third grade at a British school in Bogota, Colombia. So, my social isolation began with always being thet much younger kid in class. It didn't help that I was also smarter than almost all of my classmates scholastically, as well.
It turns out that the fruit didn't fall far from the tree. My Dad has an extremely high IQ (non-social hard-wired high-speed calculating intelligence, like mine--no social advantages contributinng to overall social stability, much less common-sense wisdom. Of copurse, he's now 83, has had two strokes, and has been diagnosed just lately with a mild form of Alzheimer's Disease.
A lot of our lifetime anger issues, such as who betrayed whom, are no longer significant.
We have forgiven, and now DO love each other very much, like when I was a kid.
The next project of my heart is my son; whose mother convinced him to become an atheist, based on her own pain, self-pity and bitterness. The cult membership, and the subsequent instability snd poverty affected our relationship greatly.
Please pray for us; anyone who would like to--I'd appreciate it.