In Reply to: Re: Does divorce equal adultery? posted by Pastor Don on February 03, 2010 at 12:35:30:
Pastor Don:
I agree that not all divorce equals adultery. "If the UNBELIEVER departs..." is an ADDITIONAL clause; "unbeliever" being the determining definitional clincher. I have two ex-wives. The first I married in TF; she is now an atheist who taught my only son to believe the same way.
She departed; I did not. I pray for her as I am sure Hosea the prophet prayed for the way God dealt with his wife, Gomer, with my own proviso. I ask God to "...dry up her life, send her lovers away, and return her to HIMSELF; NOT ME.
I remarried, and that timme it was to someone only FEIGNING to be a Christian. So, BOTH were unbelievers, and I am "not bound", to either one. At this time, I don't think I will ever remarry; my heart is still way too broken, though I still get very attracted to several women. I'm just too broke to date. Besides, I'm 57, now, and the field's very limited.
I pray for my 2nd ex-wife the same way as I pray for my first. I gave 100% love, the best I could, to both, and in both cases it was completely unrequited; believe it , or not.
Post-TF, ironically, there was a period in my life where the sex sin was unbelievable--over a little more than a 4-year period, I literally lost count of the women I had; more than several hundred. I realy regret it. It diminished a lot in my life; even though I know I have been forgiven.
I hear a few years ago that US Christians' divorce rate was the asame as the world, but ercently I heard that that was not true--that Christians' divorce rate was much better; especially for those getting pre-marital counseling, and continuing with regular marittal counseling on a somewhat regular basis. The Vineyard I go to in Houston has both kinds, and there are always all kinds of good reports!
Another "exception": I believe that sexual abandonment (refusing to give sex to the partner, masturbation instead of giving sex, etc., substance abuse replacing sex, as well as replacing other fellowship with the spouse), constant social abandonment, etc., all without repentance, ARE grounds for a divorce. The basis is abandonment of the spouse over a long period of time.
My first wife is still alive, having survived breast cancer. The opposite of love is not caring at all, not hatred or anger. Apathy for a Christian is a sin; regardless--we're supposed to love. I do not hate either of my exes. They WOULD have to be completely different persons than the lst timet I knew them to consider even being around them much, for my own mental health--I nearly killed myself over BOTH of them; not knowing at the time I was Type I Bipolar.
I would like to reconcille back to friendship with both before we all die; that would be sweet, if God would provide that.