Hi there, thanxs for your reply, she's very strong and opionated, and loud, and 'worldly' she had time away from her family home, then returned and decided she wanted out. She drinks alcohol, not with me tho, and wants to do nothing. just yesterday i begged her to walk on the beach with us, and she told me she was waiting for this to end because they never stayed anywhere long. But what can i expect, can i ask about what was expected in terms of jobs around the house,etc? will she think i'm prying? i work 30 hours a week, and my kids have to clean house and cook when i'm not here, any suggestions? i think it's also hard to have my ex calling and talking to my kids for hours, and knowing her parents don't think much of her at the moment. is there anywhere i can get current literature on the family, i've read leacon's posts, and it all sounds too 'controlled' for want of a better word! we are christian, my two older kids attend the church of christ, my ex was a priest, and since he left, i haven't been to church, due to my being peed off at his hypocrysy,my faith as always is strong, i don't need toprove to any man any longer than i believe: she's more than welcome to attend, but usually isn't here on the nights they go to church. i feel she's angry, and that comes across as intollerant,i have to keep telling the kids to be patient, she does feel as though she can just take and use anything, which is shocking to my kids, because they still ask even to this day b4 they do something, so am unsure how to handle this, other than sit down and chat thank you for your time again blessings to you and your family xx