Have others had somewhat this experience too? After leaving the Family, I found that the weird faith of Berg was so disassociated from regular life that I had to touch my feet down on earth and there was a long period where I was largely wanting to experience SANE cause-and-effect. Not that I'd lost my faith or never prayed, but I was just burned out on the disassociated "God will judge, God will bless" thinking of the Family.
In the Family, when Michael Landon died of cancer, Berg decided that God must be judging him, and that somewhere, somehow,he had probably "spoken against the Family." Unbelievable! Landon probably never whispered a word or even thought a word about the Family! When a boy was born deaf, God was judging the parents! When the deaf boy had an accident, it was a reflection of the parents' "spiritual deafness" in not obeying the Letters. If your kid got sick, God was allowing it to judge you for selfishness, or withholding, or lack of this or bad attitudes, or not tithing, or blah blah blah. The cause-and-effect of the Family supposedly worked in so many strange unassociated ways....
.....that after I left the insanity of the group, I wanted to re-experience sane cause-and-effect like, If I work hard, I'll earn money. If I'm careful, I'll avoid accidents. If I exercise, I'll stay in shape. It's not that I stopped praying for God to work, but I'd had YEARS of praying for things to happen. Years of fighting imaginary spiritual battles, cursing my own parents and flesh family for supposedly being enemies, years of listening to Berg praying and releasing entire cemetaries full of Chinese spirits up to heaven. It was wasted time, like Paul called it "shadow boxing," beating the air. It was all so bizarre and strange and even prayer finally turned into masturbation sessions talking dirty to Jesus. Helllooo?
First I had to reclaim my brain. If I left the group God was not gonna kill me. I was not a backslider. etc. Things worked logically and normally out in the real world. So now that I know gravity still works, and hard work (generally) brings money and pays bills, and germs not demons cause the common cold, I've re-established those sane basics, now I'm finding that the basics of Christianity still works. Prayer still works, faith works, etc.
It's not that I ever left those things, but I really had to spend time de-emphasizing them while the rest of my brain and body got used to living in the real world again. Anyone relate to this?