In Reply to: Christians in the toxic Family environment posted by Donny on August 07, 2003 at 12:35:12:
If I can remove God from the subject of the cult, it makes a lot more sense to me that a power-hungry twisted person used his cunning and gained control of a lot of unsuspecting individuals who were possibly grasping for some sort of answers at the time. If God is taken out of the entire picture, then I find I can accept and deal with the cult issue easier.
But when God comes into the picture, it throws me off, black and white is not easy to see and there are too many variables, 'Why didn't God stop it?' 'Why did God allow the abuse to happen in His Name?' 'Why did I put my trust in God and He let me down?', resulting in an abandonment of God for His role in your past.
It's almost easier to forgive Berg, to label him as insane, perverted, to forget him as the vermin he was, but God, He was the One I loved and trusted, totally. Berg taught us to look to God, to listen to God, to follow God, and I in my young innocence tried to do just that. More important to me than Berg was Jesus, God, was being responsible and doing the right thing. Of course all that was mixed up with Berg's teachings cause he was 'God's mouthpiece for today' and I felt that somehow I was special, unique, above the world, but in my heart I was sincerely following Jesus. I never prayed to Berg, I never fell down and worshipped Berg, I only wrote him personally once, I only danced on video for him twice, (or was it 3 times?), and certainly I 'loved' him, but my connection was with my immediate leaders, and with Jesus.
Yes, there were things I thought contrary to the Bible, but in the Family there was a 'catch-all' for each thing 'wrap it up in a blanket of faith' 'now we see through a glass darkly' 'be ye followers of me...' 'blessed are they who have not seen and yet believed' 'according to your faith...'.
So, there's a few more ramblings and the thought I started out with got lost along the way, but anyway, perhaps one reason the SGAs throw it all out is cause we were brought up with such total trust and love, and were so totally betrayed, many of us have to throw it all away before we can sort out the right and wrong and perhaps one day reaccept our childhood faith.