In Reply to: lists and plans posted by porceleindoll on August 11, 2003 at 19:20:04:
Time for hobbies, Time for vain babbling, time for relaxing, going barefoot in the park, etc.!
I remember when I joined the "fam." that there was so much emphasis on not "vain babbling" and "an idle mind was the devil's workshop" and on work, work, work, memorize, study and read lots and lots of boring garbage. We didn't have TV, radio, the only music was our own "inspiration" and some crappy churchified tapes prepared for Fred Jordan (for P.R. purposes...). Talk about dissonance: One day I was to deliver something to the top leaders trailer (where Berg's fam lived at TSC, and only a few top leaders would be in and out.) After all the purging sessions about just "mind wandering" and being dealt with severely for that, i remember someone opened the door, and there was "Sir Robert" then a top leader, laying on the carpet in the air-conditioned living room watching something entertaining on the television set.
It is no wonder that we feel so guilty for any moment for time spent on ourselves! There was ALWAYS such a double standard, but it was not often glimpsed by the average "disciples".
Top leaders even went hunting and fishing! God forbid! And they had special chosen people to serve them their hearty meals while the reg. disciple ate dumpster dive delight.
There is so much that i saw in hindsight, but it is the same as when a family of origin is severely dysfunctional. Denial kicks in. So if I would say anything at all, it would be that I hope you take time out to do special things for yourself. Reading a good book, Painting a picture, watching a sunset, playing blackjack with friends, all can be entertaining and fun!