In Reply to: Freeatlast, a couple questions for you posted by Donny on September 10, 2003 at 17:59:01:
Hi Donny! Yes, it's been 2 months and I still have that exhilarating feeling! I just feel like a new creature in Christ! Well, the latest "big news" was the Brazil GN's. We were FM status for about 1 1/2 years before we left. But, it's funny, I didn't venture out to read the ex-member sights because I always felt fear to do so. I thought I'd encounter a bunch of bitter people and well, you know, we didn't really have to hear the "other side" because we had the wonderful New Wine and Maria the winetaster who would teach us anything we needed to know, right? So, I ventured out and found these sights and day by day as I read in between my job, my eyes were opened. It's funny, we still wanted to get out the F. tools and be on the shiner list and promote the F. message (Activated! - God's answer to the needs of everyone!! Ha!) We were still getting pretty much of all the GN's which I read faithfully... I just felt I HAD to read the New Wine even though it just sickened me to read 3 GN's praising and lifting up Maria to the Heavenly Heights. Yuck! Plus, all the "spirits" that are helping her... scary! Well, I'd say the doctrines of this year are the implementation of "The Keys" and the Brazil excommunication... which is a call to arms and re-dedication for all! I just couldn't keep saying "love words to Jesus" in my conversation and in my written communications. I just was always feeling under condemnation that I was not a new bottle or revolutionary enough. I just didn't feel comfortable using "The Keys" to close my prayers in or to quote the never ending "keys promises" which were gotten in prophecy by Maria's home. They made sure every home had all the pages of these promises so we could memorize them and hang them in the toilet, ect. Of course, this year's "Feast" message was a call to have at least 2 hours of Word time everyday, plus a required 30 minutes of personal prayer vigil. Of course the 2 hours of "word time" is F. doctrine. Oh yes, there was a call for "money" again. This is where we really wanted to stop paying our tithe. You see, many homes don't pay a full 14 % tithe...that's for CMers. There was a notice in the Grapevine that even FMers were required to pay a full 10 % tithe and if the "shepherds" felt you weren't then you would be notified. Because they can compare your tithe from all the years before and they know if you are really paying it or not. We didn't feel a peace at paying our full tithe for two reasons: 1. Ed's wonderful eye-opening class on tithing! 2. Why should we pay a full tithe to an organization that we didn't agree with whole-heartedly? The amount of "pubs" or services we got because of our tithe was pretty minimal compared to what we were giving. So, this really opened our eyes to see that the F. simply wants our full tithe. We had to be honest with ourselves that we really didn't even qualify as FMers anymore as we didn't even agree with even a little of the F.'s doctrine. FMers are required to believe the message even though they can't live it. You see, since the famous "Conviction vs. Compromise" series, where Maria and Peter reaffirmed that members are allowed and encouraged to leave if they didn't fit into the radical place in the F. She said there are oodles of churches to go to. So, in her condensending attitude, who in their right mind, would want to encounter the wrath of God upon leaving the F. My own sense of righteousness kicked out and I just tried to be a real "sold-out" disciple... I tried, but kept failing to live up to all the standards. And about any new "pushes" well, to get more money there's the confirmation that the F should "go to the rich" because they have the goods to support them. Homes were chided for not using the F. name in their witnessing and charity work. This also made us think... we are willing to stand up and be persecuted for Jesus... but not for the F. again. We'd had enough of lieing to our friends. After reading about what happened to Mene, Debra's story, Ed's story in Manila, James' two letters... I was fed up defending the F. as it just amounted to lies. I just don't have the conscious to do it anymore. My husband and I are FREE at last and we are still personal witnessing. I keep a little journal to daily write down what I've been learning... it's filling up FAST! What did I learn in all my 28 years in the F....well, I guess after all of that I learned that sex is not a sin... all the other Christian lessons I could have learned in any church or just from the Lord or reading Christian writers. As Paul said "all things are lawful, but not all things are expediant". I personally believe that the F. will NEVER be the "super financial power" that was prophecied many years ago... why... because they have blood on their hands, because they need to answer up to all their transgressions, and because of Berg and his alcoholism and sexual perversions, he allowed his spirit to be possessed with every dark spirit imaginable. The curse has carried on to Maria and those "prophets" in her house. The doctrines are simple "new age" and they don't promote Jesus and the Bible. The F. cannot be blessed until they come clean before the Lord and those that they have decieved. You reap what you sow. Whew, sorry this is so long... hope it helps.