In Reply to: Re: READ THIS! The Family WANTS YOU! posted by MG on September 22, 2003 at 00:46:23:
The driving need. reinforced in many Letters, to be able to say, "I accomplished something today that truly did some good, made the world a little better" was one of the hooks that got me to join the Family and then to stay in for so long.
Remember letters like "Change the World"...you only had to affect one person's life, even just plant one seed of faith, to accomplish huge things. Or "What Have You Done Today to Save a Soul?" which talked about, even if you just washed dishes and cleaned house all day, you made it possible for others to witness, and you share in His "credit." And all the Letters about kids being the future, so if you were a childcare worker or teacher, you were also accomplishing God's "Highest." Then when the emphasis came out on "Consider the Poor" that seemed to my like such a refreshing change and an opportunity to get back to helping others.
I still find myself assailed at times with self-doubt, wanting to pull my life apart and wonder what I'm accomplishing, and almost always end up feeling guilty. This is something I wish I could shake but seems to be very ingrained and part of me tells me to stop beating myself over the head and part of me tells me it's the voice of my conscience and I should listen.
It doesn't really make sense, because one of the reasons I left the Family was because it just seemed like it had been so long since I really felt I had accomplished anything other than just finding ways to bring in funds to keep the Home going, etc. etc.
Now, my kids are happier and doing fine... but not "on track" to being any kind of missionaries. I work for an attorney who (believe it or not, lol!) is a good and honest man and many of his cases (once again believe it or not, I HAVE heard all the lawyer jokes and can guess what some readers may be thinking, lol) accomplish good things for the community, his clients, etc. My life as a working single parent doesn't leave a whole lot of time for anything other than the kids and work.
Anyway, enough of me... but I would be really curious to hear how others feel about this question of God's Will in their lives, or even just how important it remains to feel that you are accomplishing some greater good in your life, and if others wrestle with pangs of self-guilt, etc. etc.
- Laura