Dear Juni gave some good advice for me about rethinking my faith. This I am doing. But one thing that helped me to do some rethinking about my whole chosen lifestyle (of being in the Family) was when the Iraq war was in the making and we could see it developing by reading news on the Internet.
You see, since we were FM, we could freely check the Internet for news and we (oh God!) got to make our own decisions and draw our own conclusions about who we thought was right and so on. Since the F. hadn't made any public statement or said much in their monthly brainwashing, we chose to be "pro-peace". We decided to join some peace marches and we even put peace messages in our windows for others to see.
We were very excited about this. Anyway, during this time there were all kinds of anti-government groups telling their side of the war, some Christian, some Communist, and some were spoofs on the right-wing Christian government. Reading these "spoofs" was personally very enlightening.
Why? Because it challenged my own faith, because it made me laugh at even sacred doctrines, and it made me want to try to see our lives through the eyes of God.
During this same time I was reading the 3 main ex-member sites. I was more open to challenging the Family's doctrines and my personal walk with the Lord. I was also witnessing to a firm believer in Buddhism and it made me look at this belief a little more in-depth.
I laughed and cried at the SGA's accounts of devotions and prophecy in the Family and their sickening tales of abuse. I was shocked and ANGERED at the truth which we were denied in the Family. I was gradually having the scales fall off my spiritual eyes and I could finally see at last! It was liberating!
I also got a chance to read more about the Moslem faith because of the war in Iraq. I didn't grow up believing anything in my "system" life, so the Family was all I had.
I love reading when some of the posts have some unconventional ideas and give scripture to support it. It makes me decide what I believe and it makes me THINK (At last!)! I love the spoofs and it just makes me LOLAROTF because I AM FREE AT LAST!
I know that if anyone really takes time to read these sites, they will have their faith and lifestyle challenged. It may be scarey for some, but it will certainly be challenging for all! Long live the truth!!!