In Reply to: Re: Farmer -- movingon posted by juni on October 27, 2003 at 15:54:45:
Well, Thank you Juni for the encouragement, that it
is at least possible...may be Juni has a good approach & can get them not to be offended at her
presence & may be I`d make a fool out of myself....
I donŽt want to brag about myself, I helped with the children in several families..although my first
burden was always to be on the front talking with people about Jesus...I couldn`t stand to stay home too long, but then I realized it was also a wonderful experience to work with the then little people...I felt they were wonderful kids & I never ever in my life in the family have either thought or experienced what has been reported at movingon...although my exmate was telling me about real harsh treatments of her kids in Bangladesh...
& in the end we often didn`t follow our hearts either, but "listened to word" on occasions to
spank them hard, deserved or undeserved...whole new subject...bad enough as they & we felt about the
incapabilities, I was always thinking, the kids are really the best we have, only that we didn`t
properly take care of them,... judged by taking many
steps back now, the overall picture however was at that time, few thought maybe like Hart (Ed), that there was may be more time than the 1993...allthough the "prophecy" (all by faint memory ; ) ) only suggested, that Berg doesn`t make it to live until the tribulation, well, that was quite a good one ; ) If you read
the epistles of Paul, he seems to suggest, don`t worry about your marriage, being single etc...we`re anyway in the time of the end...time is short so to speak (if that`s may be not overinterpreted)...so people were actually only on that frame of mind...reaching the people with the message etc....I remember how exhausted the Combo-people in Italy seemed to me, by earwitness, cause they worked hard to reach the eastbloc or
supporting it...fearing the borders could close anytime soon...wrong guess, there was more time, time which could have been spent with each other,
the children etc...So of course, the SG can blame us & me for many things...I was not asked where IŽd been born either & like some outsider there posted, in the world there are similar if not worse cases...which is hardly of any comfort!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
& if IŽd start, what I read all in the press of what is going on in the world, also in Germany, as
far as cruelty is concerned...I couldn`t possibly cover it all...So in a way I understand`m & in another way I don`t...I don`t feel a guilt complex
towards them as I don`t really remember some illtreatments on my side, only that I was "doped"
by the letters & therefore education didn`t matter that much e.g. I am happy, that my three kids learn lots at the school, from an instrument to
diverse languages...especially happy I am, that my son learns old Greek...in my teenageyears neither I nor my parents had a vision for that...I`d
choose now differently...also, even if IŽd want to broaden my perspection, my horizon, learning more,
I realized, that supporting comes first & if there`s any time left, than I use the little freetime...I see, that many of them became successful, studying, earning more than me...and
I am happy for them...however, how they treat each other & here & there "intruders", makes me wonder a bit...to generalize that much, that anyone born
before day x is an ....hole, I mean, then IŽd not
wanna post anything there...but I don`t quite believe it, as the sample of Juni proves...she
probably is much wiser than me, but maybe I can
make up with boldness, trust & plain foolishness...it`s not the worst thing in life to be asked to leave...but I wonder, from a christian point of view, whether it`s not fairer to offer explainations...I thank the gentlemen, I`ll think now twice in answering over there, but honestly, I sometimes wonder, why they can`t answer some of their own questions... much of it is in the Bible, well, maybe that got drowned out by the family or
they resorted to Versepicking & didn`t read much continually...I feel, they have to experience, that the world is not the nicest place of the world, neither the family for that matter, but sorry, as a Christian I take heart in Paul`s opinion to say something about the good news in season & out of season...IŽd appreciate other statements, there is also the possibility to offer only an email without posting,..whatever...& may be in the end the smartest thing might be just to pray for them...
I don`t know...what I don`t agree upon yet, is that even the trying is so to speak ruled out...
For example, I thought, it is quite an important question, whether the family can be viewed as christian (asked by porceleinedoll, which also posted over here & the subject came up here too),
also it seems, that people want to have a proof of HIM...I mean, I prayed with kids, teenagers and
old people, does age matter there in that case &
if they sneer at us & other churches, wonderful, the Lord has to do miracles... In my opinion
it matters only, whether there is an open heart for Jesus, that makes somebody a Christian, Jesus in him & not where else he fellowships or not fellowships...all these distinctions made by man, lead by "funny, bad" shepherds & I guess it`s quite a search & a gift to find the right group,
who could assist, that showed their experience
with various churchgroups...
However if they`d all think to find something better than Jesus, oh my...I just run out of there & never return, however, that`s not how I view them, why did Ricky have an "appetite", to just read the plain Bible??.. when I joined, that`s what I first
did, catching up with Biblereading, which I never did before in my life, I was afraid of not being able to answer people on the street....& I got through the entie Bible within a little more than half a year...besides reading the soundsoletters..
Well, may be you guys are right, then I pray, somebody else in their life will be more successful...I think they are very, very admirable kids & I am surprised to what they have endured so
far & I would be even more surprised, if we didn`t
learn one day, that many, if not all found back to
the true love of Jesus...outside of the family...how that result comes about is not really
what matters...that`s the way I feel it...big word
in some parts of society,is to be authentic, that`s what matters to so many...well, why wearing a mask?...I still love Jesus...although the going was sometimes so tough, I thought, how am I going
to make it - well, my cross wasn`t harder than others here or at movingon, but when it hurts, you
just want it to stop asap...& that`s what I had
in times of trouble, from the time I joined the family till now, the feeling of HIS loving balm when in prayer on my knees or in whatever position, the worse the situation, the stronger seemed to be that touch...thank God, I don`t have to live without that, I`d never trade that for the
bullshsit of the "loving" Jesus invention...
John4:23 is about what HE & I look for, what else
does the family need...I pity them...So I hope, people in movingon could also
yearn for that...
Funny, when I was in New Delhi 87(??)...the time the what if series came out (that`s where I think I observed for the first time, that familymembers
laughingly shook their heads at Berg "idiosycrazies"....the roommates (Garagemates ; )) were composed of Peter Amsterdams flesh & bloodbrother, who just
lost his wife & kids..all that splitting up stuff in the family...my God...a 18 yearold or so from the States, who lost his advantage of being
"tenderly" loved by a couple, having to move...& me, who was told to choose between Nepal or Calcutta, because the relationship with the shepherdess seemed too intense - some of the things, which I never want again in my life, over=
looking Paul in that regard - although I thought at that time may be I deserved it, as my Indian mate got FFed out
of the family....well, we three of us were all one
time or the other on our knees asking the Lord to help us...& one time when the teenager was finished praying, the pillow seemed soaking wet...
from there I like to conclude, there were many teenagers for sure, who got touched by HIM personally...although I didn`t talk to him about
it, I assume it...I`d like to know where he is,
also a precious teenagegirl, English Joan, who was
my roomate,even though I was given permission to think about "the flesh" act it out..sex!...with the teenagegirl...I never ever wanted it...even though she was pretty, I thought it wasn`t right, as she already was exploited in that regard before in a
home operating at the fringes of the family then, in welfare...
With all that I wish to say, I have many, many memories of being with kids & teenagers, and o n l y very good ones (one of them, how the oldest of
the VSs John & Lamb dished out icecream with a
supersmile to all the adults first...I thought, I could have never done that as a teenager ; ) )
So if I`d attract some scorn now, well, I can live
with that & without the one, who despises me for my honest opinion...actually very simple...
I feel nothing wrong about it, to stress, that Jesus can heal the broken hearts, that he was there, when they got illtreated, that he`s an highpriest touched by their..our..infirmities...He was forsaken in the end, but not lonely...."behold, the hour cometh, yea, is now come, that ye shall be scattered, every man to his own, and shall leave me alone: and yet I am not alone, the Father is with me"...John 16:32
Not to be alone in this stupid world, although may
be alone in an apartment-happened years with me-
yet not alone....isn`t that wonderful, for me that`s superwonderful...if they wanna argue at movingon, how many atoms, angels or whatever there are on the top of a needle, never mind, that`s not comforting news...I deeply feel though, the one
before is just news they desperately should grasp
& hold on to...is it the right time??...why not???
Have you read --I am sure--the account of verylonelygirl---I could hardly believe my I eyes,
so sad was the story..it`s just hearttearing...
God bless her...having had such beautiful ideals...
it just makes me cry...what hurt...it`s not about argueing, although some twens there tend to think they are awful smart..my, I wouldn`t mind if they proved me wrong here & there, I was even thinking
to have a visit at the Biblesite, where Joel visits..Newsomethingnew...I might as well get some scolding there too...I think movingon people are
willing to learn, so am I...if age or SG...FG or TG...you name it...matters...wonderful...generationgap...but in
Heaven it`s gonna work, I tell ya ; )...