In Reply to: limited? posted by lydia on April 28, 2004 at 13:52:36:
You really don't have to see my interpretation of the Golden rule superior to the traditional one. It's what works for me. I consider the traditional one a course, base, primitive first step in the right direction, and from there you can refine and develop into more understanding that everyone is different. I see it as egotistical and presumptuous to assume people are just like you, but you certainly don't have to agree with me.
Sure we have all in common a few basics about how we all want to be treated, but if you even look at the differences between men and women, that just about splits the population into 2 different species that want completely different things and want to be treated in completely different ways! (What is a man's idea of foreplay vs a woman's?)
Then throw in cultural differences (some want you to shake their hand, while others think it's rude to be touched), differences in upbringing and experience (some consider direct talk honesty while others consider it humiliating and intrusive), and all the factors that make us individuals (I need personal space when I work vs. I need you to be there with me and confirm my efforts every minute), and you'll see (hopefully anyway) that the golden rule may be to learn to give people what they truly want and need.
Is this all in my mind? I don't think so. There are a lot of manegerial, anthropological and social studies to confirm what I'm talking about.
I don't know where you get off deciding I can't feel empathy. To me empathy is understanding what people are feeling, and what they want from you, and that is what I am trying to express here.
I don't find the fact that humans are vastly different limiting, but an opportunity to meet and learn how they think and what they want from you. They deserve my respect and time, not my egotistical presumptions.
You have your right to see "refinement" (maybe that is the same as "be perfect as your Father in Heaven"??) as straining at a gnat, but I will see it as refinement, which chucks out the traditional egotistical interpretation, and gets closer to what I believe was the original meaning.
If for you, "The golden rule is simple and elegant and applicable to almost any situation" as it is TRADITIONALLY INTERPRETED, works for you, you should stay with what works for you.
I consider the traditonal interpreation limiting, and the going "deeply as you want to go with it" to be what I have expressed here: Do not assume everyone is exactly like you.
I agree humans are linked, and we have some common threads. Beyond the few similarities we have, scientific studies (those I've read anyway) seem to support the fact that we are more diverse than most of us think, that we have more differences than we have similarities. Genetically, we have more in common with chimps than any other species. Culturally and emotionally, we are vastly different, so different we don't even seem to belong to the same planet.