In Reply to: question from someone trying to help F. member leave posted by Acheick on June 05, 2004 at 16:37:11:
What a question.
I think it is difficult to answer, as once a person leaves TF, they actually start going through a process of change that will -- hopefully, continue for the rest of their lives.
When I left TF, I went church-hopping and settled into one after about 8 months. I gave a generic explanation of my past to the preacher -- but no more.
I went along in this sort of evangelical environment for a couple of years, but then found my thinking slowly changing. I went a little further afield in my interest in spirituality. Still keeping a foundation of orthodox Christian beliefs, but doing a little exploring.
I am a significantly different person then I was when I left the group. I want answers in one sense, but I want the deliciously decadent privilige of exploring the questions. I don't want received wisdom. I also am much more willing to accept ambiguity, grey.
So the point is, we change, we evolve. Someone leaving TF may fit into a a nice new faith community, and may appreciate a structured environment, but it will probably not be a permanant state of affairs, unless they really just want to exchange one cookie cutter religion for another.
As the saying goes, "We can never swim in the same river twice."
My suggestion would not be to recommend some special group, but to encourage someone leaving to shop around themselves -- take ownership of their faith and enjoy the process of learning how to critically assess faith communities.
And maybe just take a break of several months and take time to think and reflect and generally detox. Get away from the tyranny of feeling you have to belong to a group.
It's a huge topic -- very complex, but I hope that this is some way helps.