In Reply to: Let's talk about it (if you want, of course) posted by Miguel on June 17, 2004 at 21:32:58:
I think Miguel, it's a case of taking on the whole armour of God. Take me for instance, not long ago I met this guy throught the internet, he was helpful with my studies on Aboriginies and I looked at him like a pen pal. He was intending to visit Brissy (where I live) and I thought we could have coffee. But the tone of the emails took on sexual overtones(vague hints). I recognised within myself, that I was feeling attracted to this person and thought, uh oh, I know better then to continue writing or risking seeing this person, as it could lead to sin. It was the strangest thing as I wrote and told him, why I was stopping it and it turned out he has a 'open' relationship with his wife, and was hoping to extend our relationhip when we met. So anyway, the bottom line is that when ever you start getting 'niggles' that the relationship is moving to a 'physical' level, you have to stop it.
You have to be honest with yourself and recognise your weakness along those lines. And it is a weakness, it isn't a strength. If you let things happen, then you aren't playing the man of God that you should be. Being a city without walls is not fun, and it is rewarding pursuing holiness for God even though it isn't the brief fun of the flesh. (believe me I know how much 'fun' it can be) But since God said it was a sin, then I have to trust that He knows better then I do.
And as far as not hurting anyone, don't kid yourself. It's the one sin that hurts you personally. It also wrecks the woman you are with, as you are becoming one with her, whether it's true love or not. It's something that she can never leave, and it's basically reducing her to whore status.
Because although you saying by the act that she's good enough to get stuck, she's not good enough to marry, and protect for the rest of your life.
It's hard in this day and age to believe that it a sexual act really matters, but we are called not to have even the slightest hint of sexual immorality to our lives (as Christian) this is part of the narrow path that God called us to. And Miguel, I hope and pray that you will see I'm not judging you, but I hope to that you will recognise that this is an area that needs attention and prayer and that you can have the strength to overcome.