In Reply to: Announcement - Two possible new boards posted by Coordinator on August 09, 2004 at 06:43:21:
There is obvious value in discussing ideas with those who disagree with you. My difficulty lies not so much with debating or discussing opposing opinions and perspectives, but with the instant value judgements that are made and expressed about me by certain types of christians once I declare my religious/spiritual views (which are always evolving). Perhaps a very brief history of how I came to this site will help explain what I'm trying to say.
I've been out of TF for 13 years. During the first year I still considered myself a christian. Once I began to explore the universe of ideas I started to drift further and further from the christian world view. In part I thank my aboriginal family members, friends and teachers for that. During those 13 years I purposely avoided anything to do with ex-members, or news about TF. My ex-wife had been recruited into Berg's inner circle not long before I made my escape and initially I kept in touch with her by letter. But within that first year her letters were so obviously written by an automaton, with no life or mind of her own, that I instructed her to stop writing. I just couldn't bare reading them anymore.
She complied, but one day, much to my shock, she and her son, showed up in my town unannounced. I wasn't excited, I was pissed off. She hadn't left TF. At the time, I thought she was there to visit relatives. That's how she explained it. I never knew or even guessed, but I have since learned, that the real purpose of her visit was to spy on me. To feel me out, to see where I was at, because I think TF considered me a possible threat and wanted to know what I was up to. I sarcastically told her I wanted to be a rock star, and I think she believed me, :-).
The only other contact I had in that 13 years was when I got a letter from her with a real cheesy photo of Berg, announcing his death. I remember thinking at the time, "so what, he's dead, I could care less", because I had absolutely no interest in what TF was up to at that time. Neither was I interested in communicating with ex-members. And I avoided evangelical christians like the plague. I was trying to put my past behind me.
It was only this year, in March, that for the first time I began to seriously deal with my past. The first thing I did, even before going online, was to check my local library for books written by ex-members. I read Not For A Million Dollars and Heaven's Harlot. That latter book really affected me and so I tried to locate the author on the internet. That search led me to the various ex-member sites.
The first few weeks I checked out the various sites. I found that some were just too christian oriented for my comfort zone, and one where I was clearly not welcomed. I don't mean to cast aspersians on those sites. Perhaps the more overtly christian ones would've welcomed me, but I never gave them the chance. The site where I was not welcomed is an extremely important one, and I totally understand the reaction when I posted there. The stories there break my heart, and I wish there was some way I could help. Maybe one day.
On this site, I started by reading posts back-dated to late last year. I found that occasionaly there were posts that I could really relate to and that there was a wide array of opinions and perspectives. Foremost though, I thought that this was a safe place where I could express myself without being subjected to christian condemnation. I still think it is that safe place, it's just that there are some individuals, myself included, who are learning how to discuss our differences without passing judgement.
If there are christians here who simply cannot constrain their imperative to evangelize while they are on this site, then I would vote to have a separate board for people of that ilk. After all, what is there about their black and white belief system that we all don't already know. I still think it's possible for all of us to coexist peacefully here, but I take offence when I'm exploring issues of a spiritual nature and some christians feel its necessary to bombard me with the certainty of their truth, condemning me, whether consciously or not, in the process.
One example will illustrate my point. Though I have rejected christianity, I am an extremely curious person and a sponge for knowledge. Some months ago, I saw a documentary about gnosticism that I found fascinating in an intellectual, not religious way. It was something I had never heard about, and so I posted a few comments about it. Some very detailed posts followed that basically took the position that anyone who subscribed to gnosticism was dabbling in devilish doctrines.
I don't recall that I ever professed my own beliefs, one way or the other, about gnosticism, yet several subsequent posts since then indicate to me that at least one christian, of the narrow-minded persuasion, still believes that I'm a gnostic. This person, and perhaps others, has erroneously assumed that I have a certain belief, and has condemned me, though perhaps not directly, in the process. Perhaps I'm just being overly sensitive, but the effect on me so far has to be extremely careful about expressing my personal views here. In fact, this post and another I posted today, are the first ones that I can recall, where I've so overtly expressed anti-christian sentiments. I'm in a very angry, revengeful mood this past little while, so maybe that too, explains in part those sentiments.
This is just my gut reaction to this debate. I don't know if it in any way helps the coordinators make a decision, but at least its some feedback.