In Reply to: Re: Thick Skin posted by Oldtimer on August 11, 2004 at 19:55:22:
I like your approach, Oldtimer, that is, to try to understand the person whose words I find offensive or hurtful. Like you say, perhaps it's just their personality or maybe it's a product of their own journey to recovery. Particularly in the latter case, I know I should probably be as magnanimous in my attitudes towards them as I am to other exmembers, knowing we've all similarly suffered. I've learned and grown so much in the past few months, thanks in large part to this site. Hopefully, this is an area I'll mature in as well.
Speaking of maturing, I like your observations about getting older, too. However, I must admit that although I turn 49 next month I don't really have a sense of myself as being old (except when I look in the mirror and see all that gray hair). I recognize some of the ways in which I'm emotionally immature or naive due to 20 years under TF's influence. But it's more than that. I really do feel young at heart a lot of the time and seem to hang out at places or attend events where most people are younger than me. Even most of my friends, including my two closest, and acquaintences are at least ten years younger than me. I think age is more than just a number and has a lot to do with your state of mind, as in: you're only as old as you think or feel. But maybe I'm just fooling myself and am merely trying to make up for lost time by enjoying some of the things I missed out on as a teenager and young adult.