In Reply to: Dealing with the "Christian factors" posted by Donny on December 12, 2002 at 12:24:55:
donny, your post covers a lot of terrain, a little of which i might try to comment on. but before i do, i want to raise another factor the i think almost never gets touched upon..."the God factor". when we reveiw our lives, how ever long we were in, i find it puzzling why there is so little discussion among exmems who continue to have faith in the God of the bible, and trust that genuiness of their personal conversion experience, as to "where was God in all this?" did we ask for bread and get a stone, or a serpent for a fish? is lydia right in saying that we simply weren't saved and were serving the devil? that would explain our obliviousness to the evil in our midst, but how does it explain the times of answered prayer, or the sense of his guidance at various times, or why we love God to this day? thru it all, wasn't he always there, in the midst, working w/ what he had available, never leaving nor forsaking, in some way mysteriously working in our scrambled lives?
as for the issues you raise, i think we must travel in different circles. i rarely encounter an exmem that has not by now figured out that something was seriously rotten in denmark. even the question of the f. still winning souls has pretty much passed. what on earth is winning souls if by it you forsake your illprepared older children to fend for themselves as "former loved ones", while getting kids to raise their hands in india, and pray for "internal salvation"?
but the piece of the picture you paint that i wonder about is if the "only way to healing" is to write off 20 years of ones life as a "total waste". personally, i believe there may be a risk of some baby being tossed w/ the bathwater.. some personal lessons and "altars" built on our pilgramage as the patriarchs did, that can be integrated, CAREFULLY to be sure, making sure to wipe all the dogmess off our shoes, but things of value that if nothing else, along w/ all the other stuff of life, can make us a little wiser.
i agree that a brutally honest selfexamination is necessary. we have much to repent of, and be set free from. but i see it as the "principle of the wheat and tares." good and evil coexist side by side. totally black and white thinking doesn't have the equipment to deal in a world of shades, and blends. in fact i believe black and white thinking played a big role in the catastrophe of our lives. such a veiw is messier to be sure,.. but isn't that the way life is since adam... messy?