In Reply to: Re: Farmer should men "rule"? posted by Farmer on November 26, 2004 at 18:50:43:
I believe the question of how a relationship should run- whether one person or the other should be dominant, or whether the couple prefers to approach life from as equal a standpoint as possible- is up to each couple. There is no "right" or "wrong", that's why God made us each different, the trick is to find someone who is one's match, like a jigsaw puzzle of sorts.
There are a whole lot of people who subscribe to "Dominance and submission" as a pattern for a relationship. In this type of relationship, one partner- it can be either the male or the female- is Dominant and, by mutual choice and agreement between the two, and as the term implies, makes most of the decisions. This may just mean having the final word after mutual discussion. Or the Dominant may prefer to assign the submissive some areas of responsibility, such as finances, or daily household management, etc., acknowleding his/her partner's areas of expertise.
Many couples in this type of relationship extend it their sexual lives, and some may enjoy some rather "kinky" types of sexual play. But it is always consensual, and the interesting thing is, I have seen it work very very well for many couples, and I have seen the Dominant and submissive roles fulfilled equally well by both men and women. It's entirely a matter of personal makeup, that wonderful individuality the Lord programmed each of us with.
So my answer would be no, men should not necessarily "rule." However, for many couples, it does work very well to have worked out a pattern for their relationship in which one or the other party "rules" (though I don't care for this terminology). Couples I have seen who have this type of relationship are couples who have had a great deal of communication and generally argue very little, because they have decided from the beginning how decisions will be made.
Laura