I found this sight after reading about Ricky. I left the cult in 1989 and have had no contact with anyone associated with the group (Well, I did see some 'litnessers' on a street corner in DC last year) I left with my husband, his other wife and our five kids (four were mine.) We have all adjusted, but I think I've had the hardest time. I am 42, and although I started my own business and am supporting myself, I have a hard time with close relationships. Maybe it has nothing to do with being in the cog- but sometimes I really do feel like an outsider. Do you folks on this site try to find ex-members you were close to in the past? How would I go about finding such people?