In Reply to: Re: woody allen's line.. posted by JO on February 11, 2005 at 23:20:37:
i wasn't endorsing his lifestyle. i can't get behind socrates' and plato's sexlives either, when it comes to that. still, some of their observations seem to have endured... what i enjoy about woody allen's sense of humor, is the way he seems to be able to recognize, and poke fun at, his own foibles. but i'm not planning on following the man, and i can see how he get's on some peoples nerves.
as far as questioning my faith, it really depends on what you mean. my thinking about God, the bible, and theology, and even wondering exactly how God felt about me, yes... much questioning. but as far as whether God exists, or whether Jesus is the God sent resurrected savior, then no. not even when nothing in my life seemed to make sense. not even thru the death of my daughter. i do not know why... but denying his reality seems like denying my own consciousness. i was just listening to a bob dylan song last night, and this line struck me:
"i could never drink the blood,
and call it wine,
i could never see your face
and call it mine.."
i don't know why. he is just extremely real to me, even when he feels distant, or when his plan is utterly indiscernable to me. jeepers, i hope i don't get tested on this now...
but, from the battles and questions i have encountered, i think i can understand how others may question the reality of their own "religious experience." i used to think it was my duty to try and convince everyone that he is real, and knowable. but i realize that this really is not in my job description. and he doesn't really need me to be his lawyer..& he is perfectly capable of entering the upper room, even when the door is locked.
i left the family (kicked out, really, for raising issues that i knew would grease my path to the door) with some of my family. i had not been confiding in my wife about my growing doubts, (which eventually became a fresh faith, oddly enough!) and when the pudding hit the fan she was in shock... but came w/ me both in hopes of getting me back in, and because she could not stand to see our family disintegrate, bless her.(it also pissed her off to see how leadership treated me, once i spoke out!) we fought like hell for years, but eventually she emerged from the family fog, and we ended up on the same team again, for which i give thanks. our older kids followed one at a time. i still have a lovely exmate and 4 beautiful kids still in. thank God, we have had pretty good communication so far. not sure how the current crisis will impact that.
not sure why you asked that, but that is the answer.
jo, i hope you did not think i was attacking you w/ that post. i just find some of these issues, as serious as they are, sometimes bring out some peculiar aspects of we humans, meaning the whole human race. sorry if i offended you. i find your posts very honest and moving. peace.