In Reply to: Re: our regrets posted by Recovering Catholic on March 21, 2005 at 16:13:43:
For one, the catholic church is not a cult or highly destructive group and the actions of the priests have never become Catholic doctrine. I am not Catholic, though I was a part time one growing up, by force. I wasn't afraid God could cast me in outer darkness after killing me should I abandon the Catholic faith. I actually abandoned well before becoming a legal "adult".
It certainly is sad to see priests encouraged to come back to their parish once they are exposed. It is a low down dirty shame that society in general tends to slap the wrists of charismatic and/or influential perverts.
Secondly, there is a lot to be gained by understanding ourselves (if FG) or others (if SG)-and vice-versa, if people can realize most FG became members, in their youth, of a group presenting an innocent front and an idealistic cause.
I have read the stories of many SG, but there aren't that many written by FG. It seems like that would almost be disrespecting those born in the group, but how is healing and understanding reached if only one aspect is acknowleged?
I am SURE, as in CERTAIN that there are pedophiles in the family rank and file and the big kahuna was a dyed in the wool pedophile and control freak. But he was smart too, and knew how to keep a distance so that only a select few got close enough to see that the Emperor's New Robe was really nothing at all. I would think at that level the fear of losing a power position played a big role on the worm turning along with the doctrine.
However, many many more FG were people often dealt with for going against the family mold and feeling wrong and guilty for doing so. Just as there were people that were literally forced to do things they did not want to do. OR strongly coerced seeing no other or better way out. (not talking about pedophilia here, although in at least one case it is acknowleged by both G that this happened to someone.)
Those closest got to see the depths of Berg's and now M&P's depravity close up. Some left after that point. Some left when the fecal matter rolled downhill, but in many cases felt WRONG for leaving. There are many factors for how some of us bought a big lie hook line and sinker. Does it take away from those who were born into the family's pain? Nope. Not one iota.
I just believe much can be gained in taking responsibility for poor choices within, admitting what was done in realization that it was wrong AT THE TIME OF OCCURENCE, or acknowledgement that after getting away from the family, the stuff that went on inside was WRONG WRONG WRONG. In fact, in many cases CRIMINAL.
But why not let history ring true? If you joined because you were a person attracted to the sex or kiddies, then it would be nice to admit it though you will probably never do so.
But equally important, if those things appalled you, and were not the attractant, and you bought them somewhere down the line, someday it would be good to discuss really HONESTLY how that happened.
This will vary according to the individual.
Who would I help to confess to something I never felt or did? Or if I rewrote history to match a politically correct but not accurate account of my experience?