In Reply to: Re: You had no bad experiences? posted by Mr. Don on March 22, 2005 at 06:21:31:
Enya music plays in the background:
Scented vanilla ice cream Yankee candles reflect off shining glass table tops.. I sit back in a cooshy booshy recliner and sip on a glass of Danska Kirschbarr Wine.
and then the thoughts come
To pause in regret, to examine and to clean out festering wounds is helpful to me. To stay there for fear of risking getting a life is another huge loss.
I think there is a time for everything and for me it has been about taking time to work through the highlights of the "bad". Sometimes it seemed like it would swallow me up but I had to remember it was past and have people I trust to remind me of that.
The wreckage of the past is sometimes harder to deal with. Mending fences, building bridges and such are hard work but then comes rest. The harder I work on it the quicker the relief, but I don't want to work so hard I give myself a heart attack. Kind of defeats the purpose.
I don't believe everything is part of a plan and that God willed it to happen. I think tragedy happens because of accidents, detours on the wrong roads, etc. I don't think God wanted any of us to detour on a road that looked like a scenic drive and ended up in a dark quarry.
I don't think it is part of God's plan that people are murdered or children or adults are raped or wars are started.
But I also don't think I am defined by my past where it has been hurtful. The more hurt I have experienced I figure the more healing I need. So I want to allow myself that space.
I think it is great that we are not all in a bad place at the same time.
I want to build trust and relationships with people. I am doing that. I can't force a bridge over a raging current. I might have to wait until a dry spell brings the current to a halt.
Gee. This is expansive. Sorry if I bore anyone.
Hey! Someone PLEASE change the radio station before I go into a coma!