In Reply to: I have many posted by di on March 21, 2005 at 18:12:05:
Here's a post I recently put on movingon.org in Generations, it goes along with your post:
"thoughts and the ricky memorial from an FG mother:
This day, to commemorate Ricky’s death, besides a gift my husband and I sent, I can only participate in thought and in prayer. In my heart there is sadness and grief, there is also anger and there is frustration.
The anger and frustration is toward myself for having been blinded for so many years by the cults doctrine and also toward the leading members of the cult who take no responsibility for Angela and Ricky's death. I stand with the person who commented here: A mother with a true mothers heart would ask herself, What have I done wrong for such a tragedy to happen?
I was so indoctrinated & gave little thought toward my biological family, our so-called "flesh family". So when my father-in-law died, a truly special man, we decided to "let the dead bury the dead" and went on doing the "Lord'ss work". (??!!) We did not make an effort to try to attend the funeral, the excuse being we were on the "mission field". It hurts to realize in how many ways I failed my family, my kids and yet so prided myself being one of Gods special elects!!
Most of the time I can go on and put things in the past, but events like Ricky's death just bring up so much grief that is hard to bear. Also, I can only but pray for my oldest daughter, who is still a member. The cult cuts deep ties that separate loved ones. How could Zerby and Peter stay so indifferent and not come to terms with the imaginary life they live? The sad thing is that their "flock" won't think and act for themselves.
My prayer is that through this enormous pain God's light will penetrate TFI and that it will eventually dissolve.
In this life each individual is meant to think and act according to his own conscious, his Higher Self and be a responsible human being on this planet earth. I admire you young people who have your feet on the ground. The future is full of hope."