You know D. I believe ( if you're interested ) that truth plays a fundamental part in a relationship with God. God is the ultimate truth. A relationship with God and the path to salvation has no room for anything but Truth. Seeking it, knowing it and finding it have become increasingly important to me in my life over the years.
I have learned that Truth in the world of man can be many things , a slippery fish, it can bring pain, it can bring relief, it can be obscured and distorted, it can be abused, it can be misinterpreted or exploited. We can make ourselves blind to it and deceive ourselves is we want something enough. But Truth is always there, however deeply buried, it can't be suppressed.
D, I've never been sure about where or what the truth was in our relationship. Even now in the fragile nicotine fueled companionship we share.
I know that you didn't just casually befriend me. That you didn't innocently sleep in my arms and gain my love before realizing there could be no intimately with a non-Christian. The Bible is very clear on this. You of all people, with your understanding of the Bible would have known and lived by it long before coming into my life or my heart.
There was a time during the last months when I was looking to you to tell me about the Gospel, I was ready to hear about it from you. But truly I don't think I've heard the name 'Jesus' leave your lips once in the seven months I've known you. Is that not part of Christian life to share this ? Did you not want to share this with me ?
I know exactly the reasons for this silence. I think you'd be surprised at how much I actually know about your Church and the way it operates, it's methods and it's part in your daily life, thoughts and behavior.
D, I know what your motivations and justifications are for your behavior towards me and others. I know you believe you're saving souls. But even that doesn't change the fact that ours is a relationship founded largely on deceit and coercion. Not really a good starting point for a path to God or salvation. Certainly not one I wish to follow.
I suppose I desperately wanted to believe that you had genuine feelings for me.
God is Truth D, God speaks to everyone if they are willing to listen. If you truly believe that you need men to explain God, or that God wants you to use your femininity, deception or half truths to bring people to God, then I fear that it is you who has strayed from the path, it is you who needs saving, not I.