In Reply to: Don't let it eat you posted by Observer on June 24, 2005 at 00:24:01:
Well , I got to tell you it is eating me. Very much. Not knowing if someone you care about doesn't really care about you. And the whole thing really freaks me out. That's why I need some sort of closure.
I was just looking at my original posts from months ago. There was a point where I asked her what her Church was, remember at this point I was looking for The Family International. and I wrote back to this board to say that I was relieved that it wasn't the Family and that her church was the International church of ..... couldn't remember the last word.
I guess that's quite a clue.
The letter was a dumb idea, but it did allow me to go through my thoughts at least.
I know I need to talk with her. But it's not easy getting her alone to do so. And I did a really bad thing, which I'm having problems with right now. I told her that the reason I'd asked if she knew of the ICOC was that I suspected a friend of mine was involved with them and that I was very concerned about them. I didn't tell her it was her I was concerned about.
But I asked her if she could make some time to read some info I'd found from rightcyberup.org on the ICOC about Mind/Emotion/Behaviour control and give me her opinion on it it.
I was sort of expecting her to bolt. As they're very strict about letting followers read the bad press. But she emailed me to say she'd 'ask around'. And I'm hoping that the conversation we have will resolve the whole thing.
I think my asking her if she's heard of the ICOC made her painc possibly. About 10 minutes later, I saw her outside again ( she doesn't smoke that much ! ) on the phone. I'm guessing to her mentor telling them what I'd just said.
I'd hope that I'd be get the chance to tell her why I've had all these doubts, but I really need to know absolutly for sure that she's not ICOC before baring my sould to her. And the only possible way I think I can do that is ask her to swear on the Bible that she's nothing to do with the ICOC.
Do you think that it is insulting. I mean if a friend came to you and said ' look I'm having all sorts of termoil inside , I really am, and I know this seems alot to ask, but I really really need to know you're not from the ICOC, and the only way I can be absolutly sure is if you take my Bible in your hand and say so.