Today was very frustrating to me. When I wasn't dealing with a bizaare level of bureaucratic ignorance that makes me understand at a gut level why taxpayers despise their government, I "distracted" myself from the stupidity and wastefulnness of the System by reading The Last State and watching the NBC Now interview with Merry (an oddly childlike 21-year-old abuse survivor) at xfamily.com.
I shook my head watching the arrested Merry-child in the Now interview and thought, "Oh, god, can't anyone see how stuck she is at nine years old?" I wanted to vomit and scream after reading The Last State.
I read about Merry's current condition and thought about what it means to be a methamphetamine user. There's an article in the August 8 issue of Newsweek about crankheads (complete with photos) for anyone who cares to see the ugly truth of this slow death by head rot.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8770112/site/newsweek/
If you saw Merry today, you would not recognize her as the lovely, seductive child in the dance videos. You would not recognize her as the fresh face of "No Longer Children." You simply would not recognize her, because she is among the invisible walking dead.
Innocent children like Merry are victimized every day. Young people go to their graves without tasting the sweetness of life. Trust is betrayed, and no one is able to make restitution. Stupid, fearful people in positions of power protect and defend their wrong-headed and selfish decisions. Karen Zerby eats organic produce while her disciples eat rotting fruit from the dumpster and children go hungry waiting for donations made to a fraudulent charity.
Is life on this planet really just a matter of suvival of the fittest? I do not doubt for a minute that the natural law is "eat or be eaten." Where is solace to be found in this brutal reality? Sex? Wine? Soma(TV)? Mind-numbing video games? Denial of my fears? Pride in my ability to survive & thrive in this maggot pile while others are consumed by the vultures? Unrelenting fury at injustice? The opiate of religious convictions rooted in certainty?
I do not have much faith, and I can accept the strong possibility that this might be all there is to life. Nevertheless, I hold onto hope of divine justice. I choose to do this because it keeps me from giving up on life. Some days, hope all I have.