Someone started an interesting thread at NDN on "The Christmas Push is Also Spiritual Abuse" about the TFI's big seasonal fund-raising push. Reading the stories of spiritual abuse, it struck me as ironic that TFI--which prides itself on being counter-cultural and a spiritual alternative to the evil System has managed to create its own tradition of holiday horror in the likeness and image of the Great Whore.
I haven't spent the holiday season in TFI since the 70's, so I have no memories of begging on the streets and trying to reach fundraising quotas. However, I have a lifetime of painful memories associated with the holiday season--starting with the alcoholism and family conflict that went out of control in my childhood home this time of year--to my adult experience with marrying into a similarly dysfunctional alcoholic family that caused me absolutely dread the holidays and a host bizaare extended family expectations, including getting piles of junk I didn't want and couldn't use from people who had nothing to say to me the other 364 days of the year. Or watching my ex become increasingly morose, withdrawn and angry as the "big day" of celebration with his family approached.
You don't have to grow up in TFI or raise a family in a cult to get a feeling of dread when the "spending season" arrives. I envy people who have happy memories of the holidays and get all excited by the "magic" of the season. For me it has too often been a supreme struggle to not to slide into a major depression by drinking myself into forgetful oblivion. I used to tell myself that Christmas shopping was a way to do my patriotic duty for the economy, but this thought was a bit too cynical to keep me going for long. Now, I simply ask God to be merciful and grant me peace of mind in the midst of so many confusing messages about Christmas.
I've finally gotten to a place where I actually look forward to the holiday season. That's because I've learned how to spend time instead of money. Learning to spend time is a lot easier now I have a family that I enjoy being with during the holidays. We go shopping, but the point of the exercise is to enjoy our time together. It doesn't matter how much or how little we accomplish on these hunter/gatherer trips. We spend time getting to know more about each other's likes and dislikes, catching up on gossip, looking at books and talking about ideas.
My first grandchild, Lauren Renee, was born this Sunday. Her Momma & I made plans to take Lauren shopping in early December. We made jokes about introducing her to the world of mall rats, credit cards, "shop to you drop," and the other excesses of our commercial culture that are supposed to define being a woman. Mostly, we plan to spend time renewing our bonds and sharing the blessing of a perfect, beautiful child.