My spouse was never in the Family but had a lot of pain in Family of Origin. We support each other and I was wondering what are soothing and fun things you do with your spouse or BF, GF?
Also, are there problems regarding discussing the past with them? How much do you tell. I don't tell much. I haven't found it necessary but told enough after enough trust was built that we know each other and where we came from.
Now to things we do to support and comfort each other:
We write notes and love letters to each other since we have been together, off and on as motivated and we have a book that we put these letters and occasion cards in. It's fun to look back on it and feels good too. This book stays at our bedside and can be added to and reviewed whenever we want to.
Gentle nurturing touch is something we give each other too. It's very sensual and also very relaxing and does not have to be a precursor to sex. Just gently touching the skin, just barely and going down the neck, sides, back, lower back and around. Affection is something I was starved for but avoided like the plague for years. I absolutely love it now.
Massage: This is always relaxing and we do it for each other.
My spouse gives me pedicures and it feels so good. That means getting my feet buffed, nails clipped and foot massage with Burt's Bees Coconut foot creme or peppermint foot creme.
Cooking meals for each other..fixing something special that the other person likes with all the trimmings and candlelight, setting the mood. We do this occasionally and it feels great.
We're both able to apologize and do it when times are tense and we say things that we don't feel good about. For us it isn't about who is right or wrong but about hurt feelings and clearing those up.
Occasionally doing something very different, like recently I printed an invitation to the movies and we made a "date" of it.
What things do you do to nurture your relationships?