I thought some of you might find this amusing.
Noah in 2006
In the year 2006,
the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in
Australia and said, "Once again,
the earth has become wicked and
over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.
You need to build another Ark and have 2 of every living thing along
With a few good humans.
You have 6 months to build the Ark before
I start the unending rain
for 40 days and 40 nights".
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his
yard - but no Ark.
"Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed
a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the
need for a sprinkler system.
My neighbours claim that I've violated the
neighbourhood zoning
laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding
the height
limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for
a
decision.
Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond
be posted for
the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead
obstructions,
to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the
sea. I told them that the
sea would be coming to us, but they
wouldn't listen.
Then I had problems getting the wood.
There's a ban on cutting local
trees in order to save an endangered
species of bandicoot. I tried to
convince the environmentalists
that I needed the wood to save the
bandicoots
-
but no
go!
When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group
sued
me for confining wild animals against their will. They said it
was
cruel
and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.
Then the
local council ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd
conducted an Environmental impact study on your proposed
flood.
I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human
Rights
Commission on how many indigenous people I'm supposed to hire for
my
building crew.
The Immigration department is checking the
status of most of the
people who want to work and I've even had a letter
from Amanda Vanstone
asking about my ethnic background!
The
trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to
hire
only Union workers with Ark-building experience.
To make matters
worse, the Taxation department has seized all my
assets, claiming I'm
trying to leave the country illegally with
endangered
species.
So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10
years for me to
finish this Ark.
Suddenly the skies
cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow
stretched across the
sky.
Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going
to
destroy the world?"
"No,"
said the Lord. "The Government beat me to
it."