In Reply to: Alternate Journeys posted by frequent reader/seldom poster on October 06, 2006 at 00:33:04:
I came from a mixed religion household meaning my father was a binge catholic and my mother was a "psychic" with a professional job not associated with her religion.
Shortly before I met the Family, about three days before, I got "saved" via a group which was out witnessing on the streets of California. Then I met the Family and I joined them.
Getting out of the family at the age of thirty and with no work experience, no social security number even, I had a lot to catch up on. I tried going to different churches but couldn't believe in their doctrines. I didn't feel right to join one where something I believed was right was considered to be so wrong to them. At this point in my life, I am not talking sexuality but things like one church believed drinking alcohol was a sin and I just didn't. Others were very controlling and too intrusive in my life. Not all churches are that way I know but I just am not real fond of church.
Also, I just didn't feel like I fit in anywhere in any one religion. I checked out other religions and didn't like their exclusive rules either. For awhile I felt like if there was a god I hated his, her, its guts. Then after some time I got past that. I feel real comfortable where I am at now.
I believe there is something more than this physical life but I don't know what. I haven't got a clue and I feel fine not knowing. I sometimes think maybe there is reincarnation but I just don't know. I think everyone on the planet has had their "Deja Vu" moments, I know I have.
I describe myself as agnostic because I don't know if a God exists or not. I tend to think not. But if there is a God I could only believe in a loving one that accepts me exactly as I am.
I couldn't see it as identified as strictly male or female or even human but see it as energy that is creative, motivating, inspirational, comforting, etc.
I created a "higher power" at one time that I referred to it as something that could be either feminine or masculine. It is Safe and Mysterious. I like the idea of not having a defined being. It can speak to me through nature, through any aged person of any sex, through anything in nature. Through the wind, the ocean, the stars..
It's an energy that wouldn't be happy with me down on my knees supplicating and grovelling. It has to have a sense of humor too.
Creating this "higher power" helped me to let go of the need to define any God and tack it down with definite labels.
I like that.
IT IS NOT DESTRUCTIVE.