Posted by on May 05, 2011 at 17:07:00
In Reply to: Re: Sorry...my rooter -power-supply was interrupted posted by Farmer on May 04, 2011 at 17:35:08:
Yeah, Farmer, I worry myself! God always makes a way, though; somehow.
I am now off of Depakote ER, which was prescribed for me when I tried to kill myself with a pistol, when my 2nd ex ended the marriage, in October of ’07. They gave me a diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder Type II then (not as severe as Type I). A psychiatrist upped it to Type I, and told me I might have “Technicolor dreams” for a while till my body got used to the medicine. I did. But a few weeks ago, I found to be true what some independent Pharmacists told me about it—in some people, it causes wild hallucinations, both in the dream state and for a while after wakening—terrifying!
I got prayer from some people at the “Renewal” church I’ve been attending, who are heavily involved in the prophetic (and God’s presence comes extremely strongly when they pray for you individually), and all the symptoms of BD just went away.
Since then, a brain fog induced by the meds has completely lifted, and I feel normal for the first time since the marriage breakup. It didn’t really help the depression anyway, since I made another suicide attempt in Spring of ’09; ending up in the hospital when I tried to let my diabetes kill me—I hallucinated wildly then, as well. That can happen with extremely high blood sugar, too; though.
With the brain fog gone, I could see more clearly what kind of person my girlfriend had been all along ( and not someone I was all that physically attracted to, either)—damaged from her past, extremely fearful, and as a result terribly controlling of others, including her 5 adult children. I am grateful to be free of that whole family, now—they expected me to come under her matriarchal sway just like them—not a backbone in the bunch, and really screwed up themselves because their father turned gay on her over 10 years ago—a pretty messed up family—probably a lot like former TF family members (well, maybe not that bad!).
I am applying for a hardship case, to try to get the government (Dept. of Education) to postpone the debt. My social worker where I got the meds also said I could apply for Disability (erases all debts like back child support and student loan debts), even though I have no more symptoms (the secular world doesn’t believe that you can “get over” Bipolar Disorder”, unlike Christians like me, who have experienced and believe in divine healing), because of the original diagnosis, and the suicide-attempt hospitalizations.
Otherwise, there is no time limit on the debt, as far as I know—for at least the next couple of paychecks, they will be deducting 15% of my net pay after the back-child support deduction ($320 a month)—probably around another $130 or so—nearly $500 out of less than $900 take-home pay—so I am filing with the IRS (didn’t file for 4 years, because of psychiatric problems—My social worker is writing a letter for me for both traffic court’ $1000 fine and the hardship appeal to the Dept. of Education.
I feel like Joseph still in prison, after the butler forgot about telling Pharaoh about him!
There’s no “debtor’s prison” here in the US. The lady I work for said her son had $1800 in traffic fines (running 2 stop signs, speeding, etc.), and had her just drop him off at the courthouse, where he was arrested, and spent the night in jail, but by noon a judge dismissed all charges, because of jail overcrowding, of all things! Maybe I’ll try that—as they say, “I’m so broke I can’t even pay attention!”. I hope the IRS doesn’t jail me for failing to file for 4 years—maybe I’ll get leniency for the psychiatric stuff—I hope so!
I really appreciate your prayers—I occasionally ask God to just go ahead and take me home, if my life’s not going to get any better than it is! Just an occasional feeling! I just pray and resist it.
I’d rather die and go to heaven, than depend upon the charity of any woman! Seriously. I figure the government owes its taxpayers, since most of its expenditures of tax money are so ridiculous (especially Obama’s, and his cabinet, and the Democratic leaders, of late!)
Church history, especially the corrupt parts, is very interesting (more so the good stuff)—Jesus had no need that anybody testify to Him about man, because He knew what was in man. Hmm.
I need all the help I can get, from God and man—God will meet my needs till it’s my appointed time (Heb 9:27). Being an “oldie”, as you said, one thinks about that more than an “invulnerable youth”; definitely.
I do depend on God’s mercy and faithfulness, and will to my dying day
Thanks for the good words, and the promise to pray—I greatly appreciate both, Farmer.
In Him,
OT2