Posted by long time exer on August 11, 2011 at 14:05:59
In Reply to: Re: Idealistic, vulnerable, and finally, compartmentalizing. posted by MG on August 09, 2011 at 17:44:14:
I, too, understand the compartmentalization and I never thought of "hippie" as being anything bad in and of itself. It was what was "cool" for youth to be attracted to in the sixties thru the early seventies. The drug abuse that became part of the life style made youth more vulnerable to the plethora of predators who preyed on the youth in that era.
My experience was to be attracted to the hippie life style and I experimented with drugs but did not get deeply into them because of a high anxiety level and a heart condition. I also was living at home until shortly before joining, so I had very limited independent life before getting into COG.
There were very few children at that time, none around where I joined. At TSC in early days, the children were very cloistered within the community and not around much at all- even then, tightly supervised.
There was no FFing or flirting but there was very tight control and that extended to a buddy system 24 hrs a day, no doors on toilet stalls, regular purging sessions, and 24 hrs controlled environment with regular sleep deprivation, sparse food at times, and when not sparse- usually needing to be gone thru to remove rotten parts. Classes and work were all day long and any leaving the bldg. was by escort and with purpose determined necessary by leadership.
Morning readings were bible, wurmbrandt and frankl. People confessed in purging sessions if they "lusted" over someone in their thoughts!
Incoming and outgoing mail was monitored.
Guys who were hippies were soon shorn of their beautiful hair and transformed into COG chic. (not). For men, that was the man purse for tracts,necklace with set card and toothbrush if it wasn't in the man purse, baggy assed blue jeans, lumber jack shirts. For women it was cessation of shaving legs and arm pits, wearing long dresses (frequently) and not wearing make up. For all, it was sponge baths.
Yee haw.
Then when FFing was introduced, it was first intro'd as flirting only, then as it became prostitution, make-up and better clothes, hair etc. were the norm. Hippie was long dead when sexual abuses were instituted.
My experience in the Family as "My Little Fish" came out was also compartmentalization/dissociation. It was not something that was practiced at large, but by then the adult world was highly sexualized within the family.
I think it is possible that the natural aversion and resistance to pedophilia at lower rank and file level is why there were schools/camps created because children would not have protection of parents or resistance from parents. Then there were parents who in desperation to be acceptable and sold out, went with the program but my experience while in was it was resisted by adults I was around, with one exception that I was creeped out by but did not see sexually abusing children. It may be the time frame when I left is why I saw so little, but I was once encouraged to have sex with a 16 yr old that had a crush on me. I didn't. There was no leadership around to press for it, it was remotely suggested.
It was not something that appealed to me. Although I was in my mid twenties at the time, it just was not something I could do- especially with no direct oversight pressuring it.
I hate it though, looking back, seeing what Berg taught about women and how he abused children and yes, he abused men as well because he had to have absolute control. And yes, he instructed other adults to act on his whims. It was not so simple as just a matter of "choice" but still, any lines crossed, whether it was damaging to self or to others, took a toll.
Having survived that, my journey has been varied after TF. That is for another post though.