Posted by CB on January 20, 2012 at 09:12:49
In Reply to: Re: God is cruel, God hates me posted by I Feel terrible on January 19, 2012 at 22:13:06:
If I were you, I'd go looking for another God. The one you describe is far too human in his capricious cruelty to be a God that I would choose to love and trust because "he first loved us."
When I went searching for a new understanding of who God is, I started by reading the gospels for clues. I got to know Jesus as he appears in the Word, and tried to ignore the God I made up in my head or the one other people told me about.
If you know Jesus, you know the One who sent him. (John 16:4-8) I seriously question how anyone who has been in TFI for any length of time can know Jesus very well. I don't know anything about you, but I will say this: The God you descibe, the one who appears to treat you like dogsh*t, sounds suspiciously narcissistic and that's TFI's God all the way.
You're impatient to serve. You might be surprised to see that the Lord is shown to be a very impatient man in Mark's gospel. He appears to be impatient not so much with God the Father, but with human society and the disciples' inability to get him and his message. It appears that the disciples also felt impatient and frustrated with Jesus, that he didn't reveal Himself as the conquering Messiah who would kick the Romans out of Palestine. What we have in Mark's gospel is a failure to communicate. Very frustrating. And at the end of Mark's story, what comes of it all--an empty tomb! Not even an encounter with the Risen Lord, as in the other gospels.
It may be that the Lord wants you to begin your search for him at the empty tomb. He's not there. Where is he? I'd go looking in Luke's gospel next--or Matthew's. I'd save John for last.
If you do decide to seek out the Lord, you might start with taking a look at what you need to do to clean your side of the street. What sort of junk is getting in the Way you wish to follow? Anything going on in the way of resentment, envy and self-pity? You may not have control over the circumstances in which you find yourself, but you do have control over the attitude you take about your situation.
Just my opinion. Take what you like, leave the rest.