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LaMattery Resource - To Baxter
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To Baxter

A reply to concerns raised by a young man named "Baxter"


What began as a reply to questions posed to me by a very articulate young man whose web-nickname is Baxter transformed into a response by me to several current issues that face the entire SGA community. Because I cannot respond to him directly, as the ban on my posting on the website board where he posted his questions has not yet been lifted, I decided to answer him in this section, Ex-SGA ISSUES. His questions raise some of the core concerns that many former second generation adults have regarding actually holding their parents accountable for the acts that were committed against them as children.

Dear Baxter-

(Baxter's questions of me can be found here)

I have never believed that the readership of reflected only the thinking of its webmaster, Jules. I don't believe that the website is Jules' only because I believe her readership has just as much a stake to claim of the site as she, for without them Jules would be talking only to herself. I didn't mean to offend you if you read into my statement any idea that I believe that the site represents Jules moral thought , or that the bulk of the posters on Movingon are in agreement with her. But it does reflect the views and opinions of those who post on it, including Jules. Many in the SGA community listen to her, read her statements, and believe like she does. This is precisely why I sought her support from the beginning of my current involvement with TFI and the investigations of the same. For me this starting point was when I first viewed the Ricky video prior to its broadcast on CNN.

The support I have always solicited from Jules was in regards to sharing media contacts, posting requests for affidavits, announcing the FBI and IRS investigations to her readership and encouraging anyone who was ready, willing, and able to write affidavits or give personal interviews with the FBI to do so immediately. I was stonewalled by Jules from the beginning for very important reasons. Her reasons for refusing to support me center around the very same issues that you have brought up. Although Jules never supported my intentions or goals from the beginning with demonstrable acts, and though she has denied my access to answering yours' and others' questions openly on her website, nevertheless the real underlying issues remain to be discussed and answered by the very community she has tried to disengage me from.

Baxter, I'm glad that you have asked me these important questions. There are many myths in the SGA community, none more or less than the number of myths in the FGA community, regarding whether prosecution of TFI is viable, adequate remedy, or even wanted by the former SGAs or FGAs of The Family International. Other issues you've raised are just as valid and need to be discussed among your peers in your community. Will the retelling of the accounts of abuse be more destructive than the result that may or may not be gained by doing so?

Those that came before me in the FGA community that you speak of were never like me. I, unlike them, left when I suspected the horror- I didn't have to wait for it to come to full bloom. I immediately tried to gain custody of my children so that they would not be subjected to something I felt was going to turn bad, real bad. My history is well documented and you can read my bio, as well as my novel when we begin to release it if you want a clearer picture of why I was different than others that went before me. When I saw James Penn speak on CNN, my stomach sickened. He hid in shadows to not be identified. Sorry, that was not the way I could ever come out with regards to my experience in TFI. This man could never have been like me. I would never hide in the shadows. I would never commit a crime against a child. Penn admitted he made mistakes regarding child abuse. In my opinion, this man will never be totally free from the lie he lived with so long until he confesses what crimes he committed against children and either does some jail time for those crimes, or at least enrolls himself into State sponsored treatment programs for domestic violence, rape counseling, and parenting courses. These programs are offered in our State of California.

The question of my method has been a great concern for many in the SGA and FGA communities. At this point, I will address only the SGA community. My methods since Ricky's death were to assess as best I could what was happening on ex-member sites. I needed to hear all sides. I came to some conclusions. I then acted. I had decided that the FBI did indeed need to begin an investigation into TFI. I knew that my act would offend many. I did not ask for any advice about going to the FBI and holding their feet to the fire in the investigation of Philip Slown. My first meeting turned into four consecutive ones wherein the investigation of Slown has now transformed into a full investigation into TFI. I could not stop this process, neither would I have ever tried to stop it. My methods have always been very simple: put all the pertinent issues on the table and then deal with them in a coherent way.

What you feel are sensationalist issues are the very issues that the FBI is looking into. They are the very issues that the various media pick up on. They are sensational only because they affect all of us. I also began working with the FBI because I knew that all the discussion about whether prosecution was viable or an adequate remedy was pointless unless there actually was an investigation underway. I also knew that many SGAs in your community would try to convince me not to pursue prosecution as a remedy against TFI. The two most vocal are avid posters on These two posters are Jules and Nancy. They are followed by Don Irwin. All three have expressed that although they feel pedophiles should be brought to justice, none of them have been willing to prosecute their own parents. This is at the very core of why I believe that they censored me from their site and engaged with others in a campaign to falsely accuse me, question my motivation, and slander my character. Nevertheless, I know that each individual affected by the issues brought up by such actions will in the end render their own conclusions. I can even understand why these individuals not only refused to support my efforts from the beginning, but actually engaged in a campaign of rumor and prejudice. I can forgive them because I know that If I had to bring my family members to justice, I would be just as conflicted. I may have to do such a thing if any of them are found to have committed a crime against a child.

In your post you've stated that you do not believe that there was a uniform course to abuse? I disagree, and so do the investigators. I believe that a very specific, indoctrinated, and deliberate form of abuse happened to you and many other SGAs that I've spoken with. Of the many affidavits that I have received, the story is the same, just the names and locations changed. The video tapes that I handed over to the FBI a few days ago show this. The Story of Davidito shows this. The hundreds of accounts of abuse show this. Only to the degree that your parents allowed this in your particular home could it be of any difference in affecting your childhood. How would you know about the other homes unless you had accounts of abuse from other others of your peers about it? In fact you do have accounts and you can read nearly two hundred of them on the very website you've posted your questions to me. It's the crimes of sexual child abuse that happened many years ago that TF can and will be prosecuted for. It's not about what they are doing today so much as it is about what they did yesterday and their being held accountable for it. There is the domino effect of abuse that encompasses all of the other forms that you discuss in your questions to me. It begins with sexual exploitation. Sexual exploitation is always about power and control over others. It is not an isolated physical act. It comes from an intent to control.

Your questions seem to center around some things that Jules has posted previously on about criminal prosecution. I refer all the readers of this discussion to use the search engine of her site to pull up these previous posts. You will most likely find the same thing that I did. Jules feels that she can reform her parents who still remain Family International members. I have asked her to help those of you in the SGA community that want to prosecute their parents to do so in such a way as to not hinder my efforts to prosecute them and to state clearly to her own readership that she never supported me because I was willing to prosecute them. These are very hard choices for all of us. Whether to prosecute or not is something that will demand everything within you to rise to the surface. I have merely asked Jules not to dissuade those of us who are ready to move forward from doing so. The fact that she and you think that your parents who are still Family International members are "doing better now" is something that puts the safety of children in harm's way. It is not a safer environment when pedophiles are hidden within their community and paid money to remain silent. There will be repeat offenses and one of them could be one of your siblings. I know that you could never live with yourself if something happened to your little brother or sister.

TFI will have to deal with me just like you, the SGA, or the FGA communities. I am one individual who will pursue them until they do the right thing. Sorry, but it has to be done, and now. The only thing that could ever undermine my action or any others' is inaction itself. The only way the children on the bottom rung of TF will suffer is by your own inaction to stop the horror now. Self destruction of TF has been a myth perpetuated by the inability to act.

Created by windy
Contributors : Jim LaMattery
Last modified 2005-04-29 04:46 PM
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