Home » Children of God Publications » Leaping the Hurdles, Part 2!

The Family / Children of God

Internal Publications and Secret Directives

DISCLAIMER: The sole purpose of this page is to document the existence of a publication produced by The Family International a.k.a. The Family, Family of Love, Children of God and various pseudonyms (hereon referred to as TFI). It is provided for the record, for educational and research purposes, with the principal aim of promoting accountability by the TFI for its teachings and statements, which have proven detrimental to the lives of many. By replicating this material, exFamily.org neither endorses the views expressed in this publication nor justifies the existence of this publication and its statements. Reader discretion is advised. The material on this page may be unsuitable for minors and may contain disturbing words of racism, hate mongering, directives to unhealthy lifestyles and/or criminal activity, and/or contain plagiarized works.

GN 935

Leaping the Hurdles, Part 2!

By Maria       Maria #562        5/00

       Note: This GN can be read only by those who are 16 and up. Senior teens who feel that the subject matter of the “Leaping the Hurdles” series does not relate to them are not required to read it.


       When Law of Love battles threaten to undo you       2
       Ongoing relationships via mail, e-mail, and phone       12
       Should you share the intimate details of your times with others with your mate?       13
       Deliverance from the sp irit of rage--lessons on united prayer       15
       “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he”       22

Dear Family,
       1. Peter and I continue to pray for you with all you have to do in your multifaceted roles as busy missionaries, parents, shepherds, fund­raisers and support staff. The Lord has asked us to lift our eyes upward and outward to the harvest fields so white, and to concentrate on the progression and success of the Activated ministry. There is so much to do to reach the many sheep who long to h ear the Words of David, and that is our primary task. Along with this, however, the Lord has also called us to be an example of the Word, including the Law of Love. That's an important part of our testimony to the world. So even though our primary emphasis at this time should be and continues to be reaching the lost and following up on those who are hungry, the Lord wants us to continue to progress in living the Law of Love. While living the Law of Love brings its own blessings, there are also q uestions and problems that are bound to arise, which need to be addressed.
       2.After the publication of the “Law of Love” series and the other related GNs that followed, such as the earlier “Leaping the Hurdles” Letter, I received various personal letters from individuals, or reports from CROs and VSs, that enumerated, sometimes in great detail, some of the problems that are occurring as you try to share more sexually and care for one another in that way. There are some questions that have come up and some problematic scenarios which are repeating themselves, probably due to misunderstandings. These GNs contain counsel from the Lord that I believe will clarify some of these points and help you to live the Law of Love so that there are less distractions and problems attached to it. Of course, sexual sharing is never simple; it's an explosive endeavor even under the best of circumstances, since we're all weak in many ways and can easily get off track if we don't stay mighty close to the Lord! But hopefully the mess­ages, letters, testimonies, and questions and answers in these GNs will help bring your under­standing and application of the Law of Love into better perspective.
       3.I want to again emphasize that by pub­lishing more on the Law of Love, I'm not saying that sexual sharing is the top priority right now. Witnessing, follow-up, and making the Activated ministry a success are our top priorities, but we must iron out some of these serious problems and misunderstandings that arise with the Law of Love; otherwise they'll continue to sap your strength, steal your joy, and waste your time.

When Law of Love Battles
Threaten to Undo You!

       4.To begin with, here is a letter from an FGA woman, followed by my reply and the Lord's words. The details of this letter are not what are important, so please try to focus on the spiritual principles! (This letter was written in January 2000. Some details have been omitted. It is also important to note while reading this le tter that this is not by any means the full story of this dear couple's marital situation. There are probably many other details and factors, besides living the Law of Love, that contributed to the state of their marriage at the time this was written. Please keep in mind that though this is personal counsel for the ones immediately involved, the Lord knew this counsel would be a blessing to others. Thus He elaborated on this subject, and He led me to do the same in my reply to this dear girl. I pray it will be a benefit to all of you as you continue to take steps to live the Law of Love.)

Dear Mama,
       5. This letter is so hard for me to write. The tears are flowing so hard that I can hardly see the screen. Mama, I need so much help right now. I'm so weak spiritually and emotionally, and there is no one to turn to. Yes, I know I'm supposed to turn to my good and wonderful Savior and Shepherd, but I don't trust myself as a reliable channel to hear His voice.
       6. Mama, my struggle is over the Law of Love. Years ago in the past I didn't struggle with it as much as I do now. There seems to be such importance on the Law of Love and that if we don't follow and jump in, then we'll be left behind. Mama, I've been in the Family for over 25 years, have a very large family, have been to many mission fields, and have wanted to serve the Lord in the Family until His return or my dying day. But now I just want to run out the door. The emphasis and necessity of obeying the Law of Love ha s hit me so hard that all I can think of doing is leaving the Family. It's not a desire for the world; I'm not tired at all of witnessing and telling the whole world about Jesus ... but that's part of the problem right there ... other than the Activated, there is so little in the Word coming out about witnessing and winning the lost in comparison to how much there is on the Law of Love.
       7. My husband has almost never stumbled over the Word since he's been in the Family. He's dedicated, faithfu l, and as obedient to the Word as he can be. And especially in regards to the Law of Love, unless there's a sister that is extremely unattractive, he's definitely a “ready folk,” God bless him. But this makes it all the more difficult for him to understand and even sympathize with me. We have been living with a couple that we have not shared with. (In fact, in the last four years I've had only one date with another brother, and when traveling, I had a few dates with one brother. As you can see, I'm pretty behind!) For a long time there were only a few adults in our Home, and one of those adults was a single sister. My husband had regular dates with her, and I did okay, thank the Lord. I didn't go through any major battles and there were even times when I was thankful for their dates as it gave me some personal time with the Lord.
       (Note: This FGA and her husband now live with a married woman who is much younger than her. Regarding her husband sharing with this woman, this FGA wrote:)
       8. After the Feast I told the Lord and my husband that I would try to take baby steps towards sharing. But when the night came, I just couldn't go through with it. I wanted to pray with my mate prior to the date and was already going through a trial that the idea of him and I having some prayer and cuddle time together before the date didn't come from him. Instead of being humble and telling him that I was battling and getting cold feet and could we pray, I instead started spilling out doubts, anger from past hurts, etc. After dumping on him, I just expected him to take my aching heart and soothe the pain, but instead he kind of socked it to me. I wasn't expecting this, and everything went from bad to worse until he said to cancel the whole date. I didn't want to do that, so we went ahead, and the rest of the evening all fell apart. The evening did anything but bring unity.
       9. I have grown further and further away from even wanting the victory over the Law of Love, and at this very point in time, as I write to you, my husband and I are separ­ating. Especially my mate can't see how he can stay with me if I'm not going to jump in and believe in and practice the Law of Love. He's right; we wouldn't be able to stay together. But even if I find another place to go, my battles and trials will be there. Leaving each other, splitting the kids, and all the other ugliness that goes into this is not going to give me the victory. I will probably wind up in another situation where it all starts again.
       10. Mama, I don't want to quit now--not after giving more than half of my lifetime to serve the Lord. I keep asking the Lord why the Law of Love is so important. I joined the Family to be a missionary and I want to remain a missionary. Does it mean that if I don't fully embrace and practice the Law of Love impartially that I can no longer be a missionary in the Family? Where can I go and what can I do? I've faced many difficult battles and struggles over the years, but this i s driving me to toss in the towel. I sincerely don't want to quit ... but my mate is fed up with me, and I'm not fighting the Enemy the way I know I should, because deep down in my heart I'm struggling with the Law of Love and how important it is, and if I really believe in it the way the Word tells me to.
       11. Mama, everything I've ever loved and lived for is quickly fading from my life. I've shared and loved others in the Family over the years, but it's always been partial and to my liking an d taste. I just can't “force” myself right now to be with someone that I don't want to be with, and I don't want anyone else to feel “forced” or obligated to get into bed with me.
       12. I'm really weak now, Mama. Please help me if you can. I love you, even though I'm following afar off. Thank you for allowing me to share all this with you. I don't want to be a source of discouragement, so please forgive me if I am. I'm so sorry for being such a failure and so weak in faith. I do love you and Pet er so much, and I long for the day when I can meet Dad, who I miss and love more than I would ever be able to express in words. I long to be rescued … please help.

Reply from Mama:

Dear one,
       13.My dear, sweet girl! I'm so sorry to hear how you're struggling and are almost ready to give up. I'm sorry to hear that you and your mate are in the process of separating due to your battles with the Law of Love. Oh dear! I wish I were with you right now so we could talk personally and you could te ll me all the details and unburden your heart completely. I wish we could lie on your bed together, nestled in the loving, tender arms of our dear Husband who understands completely what you're going through, and who has all the answers you so desperately seek and need. We could pray and praise and sing and cry together. I would very much like to do that if I could. I know we could learn a lot together by seeking our Lover's answers in prophecy, and He would sweetly lift the burdens and bring ba ck the hope that you've almost lost.
       14. Please feel my love through this letter and know that I've not given up on you, and you can't give up on yourself!
There's still so much for you to do and learn and experience, and you have way too much to give to the Family and the lost for you to quit now! Please, dear love, hold on!
       15.Thank you for taking the time to write. I know that wasn't easy. I only wish you would have written sooner, so we could have been praying for you. Thank you for ope ning your heart to me and sharing the battles that you've been having. I know very well how intense these battles can be, and I'm not surprised that you feel at the brink of total discouragement and despair. However, I can also see clearly that you're being severely attacked by the Enemy! We are fighting for you in spirit, and I pray that you have also asked for prayer from your loved ones where you are, and from your shepherds. I know they'll be very concerned about you too, and will want to he lp you.
       16.I want you to understand in no uncertain terms that Peter and I are very proud of both you and your mate for fighting and sticking it out for so many years! You've been wonderful examples of missionaries, and faithful parents and shepherds. Your years of laboring in varied and often difficult mission fields have certainly not gone unnoticed by the Lord, or by Peter and me. You are an example to us all, and we take our hats off to you! We can understand why the Enemy would attack yo u so viciously!
       17. Just because you've now fallen on hard times
and you feel you're not progressing like you should, or fighting, or making the grade regarding the Law of Love, does not take away from your wonderful record of years and years of service for the Lord and the Family. In fact, knowing of this side of your life and the innermost battles of your heart has caused our admir­ation for you to grow even more.
       18.I'm sorry I couldn't write you sooner. Peter and I have been involved in various meetings with some WS folks and have just now gotten back to our paperwork. But I did want to let you know that we've been praying for you and we love you. I also want to try to answer some of the questions that have been on your heart, and hopefully help clear away some of the confusion and frustration that has plagued you.
       19.I understand the despair that can come over you when you feel that you just don't have it in you to share sacrificially or to have your mate share with someon e who you feel threatened by. I understand your concerns, wondering if you'll lose everything you love and be left alone and defeated. I understand that you're racked by condemnation because you feel you're not living the Word well enough, while at the same time you're confused by unanswered questions that you haven't researched in the Word or heard from the Lord about in prophecy. All of this--the despair, jealousy, discouragement, condemnation and confusion--can be extremely weakening.
       20.S o let me help you, dear one, by trying to answer some of your questions.
       21. About sacrificial sharing as a requirement for being in the Family
: You said, “I keep asking the Lord why the Law of Love is so important. I joined the Family to be a missionary and I want to remain a missionary. Does it mean that if I don't fully embrace and practice the Law of Love impartially that I can no longer be a missionary in the Family?”
       22.Sweet girl, I'm sure if you were to take a good look at the first parts of the “Law of Love” series, your mind and heart would be refreshed as to the importance of the Law of Love. It is the foundation upon which we build our Christian lives. The Law of Love is much more than sexual sharing; it's the cornerstone of our service to the Lord and others; it's the touchstone by which we should measure all of our actions and decisions.
       23. Of course, as you know, we in the Family go further than the other Christians of the world,
and we believe that the Lord's co mmandment to love your neighbor as yourself applies even to taking care of each other's sexual needs. We believe that this great love fulfills all the law and the prophets. The Law of Love as we know it is crucial to our unity and testimony.
       24. Whether you feel you can share sacri­ficially is a personal decision.
Sacrificial sharing is one aspect of the Law of Love, and at times it's important, especially if the needy person has no one else available to receive love and affection from. But th e Lord does not expect perfection of us, and He will not judge you harshly and certainly would not expect you to give up your CM membership because you have a difficult time with sacrificial sharing. I know you believe in the Law of Love, and you're willing to share not only yourself, but your ­husband as well. That's very admirable and goes much further than most Christians. In the Lord's time, He might make the sacrificial sharing easier for you. But until then, don't let the Enemy use that to destroy your faith and confidence in the Lord's love for you and His joy in your service. So the answer to your question is: Of course you can still be a missionary in the CM Family even though you have battles with sacrificial sharing!
       25. You wondered why so much has been written on the Law of Love but so little on witnessing.
Yes, there has been quite a bit on the Law of Love with the 11 GNs in the “Law of Love” series printed in 1998, as well as “Golden Victories” in 1997, and three GNs o n overcoming jealousy in the last two years. It is possible that the Law of Love stands out to you as being the primary subject addressed recently because 11 “Law of Love” GNs came out within a short period of time, being presented during the two “Law of Love study months” of September and October of 1998. Then a review of the series was encouraged shortly thereafter during the Birthday Feast of 1999. I admit that is a pretty hefty dose of the Law of Love!
       26. The reason Peter and I were led t o do it that way is because the Law of Love is a very complex subject,
and the Lord made it clear that as soon as we started addressing it in depth there would be many folks who would have questions--”What about this? What about that?” So in order to avoid their going through months and months of battles, we tried to anticipate and answer their questions as quickly as possible, with the Lord's help. I realize that for some, that approach made the Law of Love subject a little overwhelming or even more difficult, but for ­others, the rapidness with which the series was published helped to allay their fears and answer their questions, and thereby a lot of problems were avoided or at least minimized.
       27. The “Law of Love” series was especially helpful for the younger generation.
Also, some of the counsel that is available was in need of updating and condensing in order for it to be more easily and completely understood.
       28.Another reason for emphasizing the Law of Love was to encourag e our younger genera­tion to be more prayerful and wise in their sexual activities. By emphasizing responsibility, as well as the importance of marriage as the primary relation­ship, we hoped to counter a “trend” of single parents that was becoming wide­spread--in large part as a result of people not being loving or prayerful enough in their actions, or understanding the basic idea that “if you fuck, you will get pregnant.” Also, as you're probably aware, there were quite a few wrong attitudes t hat were quite prevalent amongst the younger generation about relationships, marriage, having children, etc. The young people needed a lot of Godly input and training in these areas.
       29.The Lord showed us that in order for the Law of Love to be lived as it ought to be, the Family needed more guidelines and specifics as to its implementation, hence the need to address such issues as: the problem of lack of communication before fucking (and creating a baby), the responsi­bilities of the father of a baby, parenting teamworks, the responsibilities of givers and receivers, how to handle emotions, the appropriate boundaries, the importance of the primary relationship (your mar­riage), sacrificial sharing, sharing just for fun, practical steps to strengthen your marriage, tips for young couples, sharing between the generations, FGA men's responsibility to FGA women, how to shepherd relationships, etc.
       30. These reasons and more led to a great amount of GN time and space being devoted to the Law of Love.
This doesn't mean, though, that it's the most important thing going in the Family, or that sexual sharing is the yardstick by which someone's loyalty and love for the Lord is measured! The Law of Love is, of course, one of the new weapons for this new day--but the whole purpose of those new weapons is to enable us to better do our job of reaching the lost--not just an exercise in perfecting or improving ourselves, and not something to make our burdens heavier.
       31. If you were to take a closer look
[as was published in the “End of a Millennium,” ML #3291:61-71, GN 884], you'd see that besides one GN on the Law of Love and two GNs on overcoming jealousy, the following was published in 1999:
       8 GNs on witnessing and follow-up, including 4 GNs on Africa, 1 on China, 1 on “Witnessing and Follow-up Pitfalls,” “Christmas Heartcry,” and the “Activated” GN. Also:
       5 GNs on prophecy
       5 GNs on world currents
       4 GNs on raising and disciplining our children
       2 Shakeup GNs
       10 Keys to Victory GNs
       4 Mama's Memos GNs
       6 Feast GNs
       11 GNs on a variety of other subjects

       32.Witnessing and being missionaries is definitely still our priority in the Family, and I'm glad you also feel that way about it! Besides seeing that some good GNs have already been published last year on this topic, I hope it encourages you to know that witnessing and reaching the lost will be a main topic of a number of upcoming GNs, including more counsel on the Activated program and follow -up, and lots of encouragement from the Lord about reaching the lost and how our time to do so is short. (Please pray for the production of these import­ant GNs!) (Note: Thanks for your prayers, as now, since this letter was written, there have been 4 GNs published on the subject of the Activated ministry and witnessing.)
       33.The Lord does want us to live the Law of Love, but He has repeatedly emphasized how He leads us along step by step according to our faith. He encourages us to pray and he ar from Him, to counsel with our mates and those we live with, and to go at the pace we feel ready for. I know you've read what the Lord has to say about these points, but I also realize that it's easy to lose sight of this side of things when you're battling emotionally and feeling overwhelmed by the discouragement that comes with it. Let's talk more specifically about the things you shared in your letter.
       34.It's good that you were able to share your mate with the single sister in your Home for a long time without having major battles about it. That's great! I commend you for that!
       35. I understand that jealousy is really un­predictable,
and you can be fine sharing your mate with one person, but not so fine with someone else. It depends largely on how threatened you feel; and it does at times make it more difficult if you feel your husband would be going to a date that would be great for him, sexually speaking. That naturally makes it harder. So I don't fault you for battling in your recent situation.
       36. I'm sorry that your efforts to step out and share didn't work out as you had planned.
I'm sure the Enemy got in there somehow--probably, as you admitted, through your not being honest with your mate about your battles and then falling into negativity and jealousy. I know how that can happen. I'm sorry that you had a bad night that “went from bad to worse.” That's rough! But I pray you'll have the faith and determination to get over any feelings of resentment, condem nation and discouragement that linger from that experience.
       37.You said, “I'm not fighting the Enemy the way I know I should, because deep down in my heart I'm struggling with Law of Love and how important it is, and if I really believe in it the way the Word tells me to.”
       38.I'm sorry you're battling with this, dear girl. I believe if you were to reread the “Law of Love” series or even Dad's old Letters on the subject with an open mind, you'd see that the Law of Love really is very import ant. Peter and I are not emphasizing it just because we're hot on sexual sharing. That's not it at all. Yes, we like sharing, and we believe it's a gift from the Lord that is beautiful and unifying when done in love and faith. But we also are deeply con­vinced that our sexual freedom is a very special and unique gift that the Lord has entrusted to the care of the Family, and that it has been and will continue to be a very important part of our testimony to the world. As you know, the Lord has co mmissioned the children of David to preach and live the meat of the Word, part of which is the Law of Love.
       39.You are a wonderful missionary and mother and disciple, dear one. You've done so well. I would hate to see you weaken to the point of going back now. You really need to fight for your place, Honey, and see these doubts as a strong and dangerous attack of the Enemy on your life and service for the Lord!
       40.You also said, “I've shared and loved others in the Family over the years, b ut it's always been partial and to my liking and taste. I just can't 'force' myself right now to be with some­one that I don't want to be with, and I don't want anyone else to feel 'forced' or obligated to get into bed with me.”
       41.Sweet girl, whether you share sacrificially is not a “deal breaker,” as Peter would say. Yes, we believe in sacrificial sharing, and we do it. It is difficult at times, but on the other hand, there are very special rewards that come with that kind of loving. Not on ly are you a good testimony to others, especially to the younger generation, if you're willing to share sacrificially, but also, sometimes the dates that you think will be the most difficult because of lack of sexual attraction actually turn out to be filled with the Lord's Spirit, which is brought on by your desperation, humility, and loving the Lord together.
       42. But if you can't bring yourself to share sacrificially
or to have someone share with you that you feel is “forced” to do it, that' s no ­reason to feel you have to break up your marriage or leave the CM Family. That's also no reason to feel condemned.
       43. Some people are better at sacrificial sharing than others.
For some it comes fairly easily and is no big deal, especially those who are more accustomed to it. But for others it's a very big step of faith. If it's difficult for you, then don't worry about it. Don't feel forced. Don't push yourself. It's not the end of the world if you can't do it. You could consider some other form of fellowship if you feel the need to connect with some man that you feel sexually incompatible with--like a walk, or fellowship, or some prayer and prophecy time. To get in bed and have sex isn't everything.
       44.You said, “My mate can't see how he can stay with me if I'm not going to jump in and believe in and practice the Law of Love. He's right; we wouldn't be able to stay together. … I sincerely don't want to quit ... but my mate is fed up with me.”
       45.The decision is yours a nd your hus­band's as to whether you remain together, but I would be heartbroken if you were to base such a decision only or primarily on the fact that you are having difficulty in sharing outside your marriage. As I brought out in the “Law of Love” series, while the Lord does want married couples to reach out to others and there are many benefits in doing so, He still greatly values, as do Peter and I, the importance of solid, stable marriages--especially when there are children involved, as in your case. He doesn't mind if, in some cases, married people take a break from external sharing to concentrate on their primary relationship, and to strengthen their marriage and family ties. The point of the Law of Love has never been to split up fruitful marriages, such as yours has clearly been, bearing much fruit and winning many to His Kingdom, as well as training your own young ones in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
       46.It takes time to overcome problems with sexual sharing. It appears, from what you said, that you did well sharing your husband with one woman, but can hardly bear the thought of sharing him with the woman you're now living with. If it's too difficult for you, you don't have to do it. The Lord will not require it of you. It's not that you've rejected sharing al­together or you absolutely refuse to share your husband, ever. You do share and have shared, and I believe you are solid in your faith in the Law of Love. It's just that sometimes when you're bat tling so hard and long, and there doesn't seem to be much hope that your situation will change, and the Enemy is attacking you, you can be tempted to just throw in the towel. Maybe you feel that quitting, even with all the “ugliness” that comes with it, seems easier than going on; at least it would be a temporary relief from the struggle.
       47. But, my dear girl, I assure you that if you want to know what is more important
--your sharing sacrificially with someone when it's so difficult for you, or your sharing your husband with another woman, or keeping your fruitful marriage together--in the Lord's eyes, the marriage definitely wins! Your relationship with the woman you live with is important, and it's imperative that you're in unity, and it would be nice if you were to share if you all wanted to, but it's not like she is direly in need of sex. [Note: The woman in question is married.] So if it's just too much for you, then don't worry about it! Just let it pass. And possibly, in the future, when the Lord arranges some other situation that is easier for both you and your mate, then you can try sharing again.
       48.Sweet girl, please do pray further about these things and come before the Lord, personally and together with your husband, to hear from Him as to exactly what He wants you to do in your present situation. Please don't just give up in despair and feel that it's hopeless, that you've messed things up, and that the only thing for you to do is quit and back out. Please fight for your marriage! And fight for your place in the Family! Don't take these attacks of the ­Enemy lying down! You're a fighter, I know it! So fight!
       49. Of course, I realize that there might be a lot more aspects to your marriage problems than you portrayed in your letter.
I know you just presented one side, your side. Your mate also has his side. I don't presume to understand your situation fully, so please understand that I'm giving you this counsel based on what you wrote me, and the fact that you have so many children, and my knowledge of the fruitfulness of your union, as far as I under­stand it from reports and testimonies. But I implore you to please consider your decision very carefully and thoroughly. Think of your children. Please get confirming prophecies before making a decision, and seek the help of your immediate shepherds.
       50. I know that our loving Husband wants to help you through this difficult time.
He can lead you to once again find joy and fulfillment in your service for Him. I know this because He said so, as well as saying many other beautiful and wonderful things about you in the message which I'm including at the end of this letter.
       51.It might be helpful for you to share this letter and the message the Lord gave you with your mate, but I'll leave that up to you. I've included a P.S. to him, in hopes that you'll have him read it when you're ready.
       52.I love you both very much. Our heartfelt and desperate prayers are with you in your t ime of need. We're praying for you, that your faith fail not and that you will find the strength and courage you need in resting in the arms of our wonderful Husband and letting Him speak to you--through the words He gives here, as well as those He will give to you personally through your own channels.
       Love always in our Husband and Lover,

       53.P.S. to [the husband]: Sweet love, I've asked ___ if she wouldn't mind sharing with you the counsel that the Lord gave in response to her per sonal letter to me, since it affects both of you and your lives and futures so greatly. I pray that what the Lord said will be of help to both of you, and that you will seek Him together with open hearts and minds to be sure that you're finding His will and doing what will prove most fruitful in the long run. Peter and I love you and admire how you've been a faithful pioneer, missionary, husband and father for many years.
       54. I pray that the Lord will help you to react with mercy and understan ding to your wife's battles.
Peter's constant support, understanding, prayer and love helped me over my struggles with jealousy, and I'm sure the same would also go a long way in giving your mate the faith to keep going. And I don't mean keep going in sacrificial sharing, but in the most important things in life--her service to the Lord and the Family and you and your children.
       55. Please be very prayerful and humble when trying to help your mate with her battles.
The Enemy's condemnation is v ery destructive, so please help her to fight it by showing faith and not expecting more of her than she's able to give right now. If you're careful to always be loving, kind, and under­standing, and you take into consideration that it's probably much more difficult for her than you realize, then you'll do okay. But when you get impatient and exasperated, it only makes matters worse.
       56. Of course, I don't know the situation, nor the details, and I'm sure you have your side of the story, but I' m checked by the Lord to caution you against pride and self-righteousness. Being jealous is very humiliating; it makes you feel so icky, awful and horrible, and you really don't need someone else to come along to tell you how bad you are! Please do all you can to help your wife fight by staying soft and merciful, and don't allow yourself to get hard and callous. Thanks, dear one. The Lord can do it and we know He has a solution! God bless you! We're praying for you! Please feel free to write me if you feel the need.

       57.(Jesus speaking:) My love, My bride, come now and let Me hold you close. Let Me assure you of My great love for you. In My eyes you are a winner, a champion, a great warrior of the faith. You've fought and won many battles for Me. You've gone forth conquering and to conquer, and have laid hold of the spoils of war time and again.
       58.You've fought for the sake of lost souls, and held on through plague and pestilence and persecution and poverty and more, in order t o be there for those who needed you and to bring them My truth. You've fought for your own children, sacrificing and laying down your life day after day so that they might be brought up in My way, knowing and loving Me, learning My ways and being trained to serve Me. Fruitful plants are they, having been watered and nurtured by your love and care, by the support of loving parents who are devoted to them, to each other, and to Me.
       59.My darling, let not your heart condemn you because of the st ruggles, because of the weaknesses, because of the battles you've had to contend with. These do not lessen your value in My sight, nor do they lessen your ability to serve Me and reach My sheep. No, My love, not by any means. These are times of testing and trial, but they need not be times of defeat. I have victory for you! I have overcoming victory in My hand to give you--victory over discourage­ment, condemnation and fear; and victory in living My Law of Love, which will come in due time.
       60 .Precious one, I take you where you're at and allow you to follow Me at the pace for which you are ready. Every man and every woman has a heart full of sin and weakness. It's not within your nature to give and share My love freely, and I don't condemn you for this.
       61.I know that in your heart you want to do what is right and what will please Me. My love, it would please Me greatly to have you continue on in the mission field where you are now, beside your husband and with your family. You h ave built up and now continue to fortify a great work, and I would not that you be taken down off the wall of My service because of these attacks of the Enemy. He's trying to ruin your usefulness for Me, but, My love, we can conquer and overcome him. We don't have to let him do any damage.
       62.He seeks to break hearts, ruin lives, defeat spirits, and hinder My work. He will try anything he can to stop My work and My workers, and he has chosen you as his target of attack. He has used your battl es and weaknesses with the Law of Love, which are common to many, and from there has gotten in a wedge of deep doubt and heavy discouragement. This, My love, is the problem. This is the biggest enemy. Yes, your Law of Love battles are something that should be fought and overcome--but you can only fight them once you are free of this horrible condemnation, discouragement, and fear of failure.
       63.My love, as long as you're looking to Me and loving Me and holding on to Me and putting My Kingdom first, you will not fail Me. I know your heart and I know that you're a loyal and devoted soldier, one whom I can trust and count on. I know that you can, from this day forward, go from strength to strength. I know that with Me on your side, you will conquer and win. I know this, because I know you. I know you better than you know yourself. I understand you better than you understand yourself.
       64.You're confused and troubled, and the Enemy is trying to use your personal struggles to make you think you're no longer of use to Me--but that is so wrong! That is not the truth! The truth is that I can and want to use you--and not only a little bit, but more than I ever have thus far! Greater victories are ahead and are just around the corner if you will but persevere and fight for them! I have joy and fulfillment for you, and I can bless your life with greater fruitfulness than you have known thus far, and your heart with greater contentment than you have yet experienced. All this, My lov e, and more, can I do for you. Will you let Me?
       65.Will you come before Me, as filthy and messy as you feel, and let Me speak to you? Will you let Me guide your thoughts and decisions? Will you let Me show you what I have for you, and how you can do it? You can make it, and I will show you how, if you will just come to Me in faith, believing that it can be done. Come to Me ready to yield and commit to what I will show you, and believe that I will not ask of you more than you're able to bear. Come to Me together with your precious mate, and let Me speak to you both, together as well as individually, and show you what's best.
       66.Be not rash or hasty in your spirits, and don't presume to think that you know what's best. Let Me be your guide and let Me help you to decide, for I am wise and I am stable, steady and sure. I am your King and Lord, and I do all things well. I can help you likewise to do all things well, to make wise choices. I can set your feet on a plain path.
       67. Any path in your service to Me will have obstacles,
but as long as you're sure that it's My path and My plan, the obstacles will not seem as daunting nor the tests as severe, for you'll have the faith and assurance that comes from knowing you're in My perfect will. (End of message from Jesus.)

Excerpts of response to the preceding letter and prophecy:

Dearest Mama,
       68. The only words that I can think of writing are, “I am not worthy.” I mean that with all my heart. Never, in all my years in the Family, have I received a personal word from you or Dad. I have hardly ever written to either of you throughout these many years as I just never knew what to say and never wanted to disturb or burden you. In the past I used to dream a lot (not so much over the past year), and occasionally I dreamed about Dad and sometimes you. Each and every dream was always so beautiful and inspiring. I was so thankful to dream about you and Dad that it seemed enough--meaning that I didn't need to write or hear from you.
       69. Well, all that to say that I never im­agined I'd get a personal and love-filled letter from you with personal words from Jesus. Honestly, Mama, the tears flowed gently throughout my reading of it, and I was overwhelmed with joy unthinkable and full of glory. There is no possible earthly or ­human way to thank you. You carry the burden of the world's souls on your shoulders and you took the time to pray and write to me. Please try and understand even a little bit how thankful I am, even though this attempt at words seems so futile.
       70. I know my battles are not completely over … as I am not faced with the situation I was in for the time being. I did tell my husband, before I left our Home to travel on Family business, that it would be all right with me if he had dates with the woman I wrote about while I was gone (if, of course, it was okay with her and her mate). Having your letter is my anchor, my life preserver, and I will read and reread it, cling to it and ob ey your and the Lord's counsel to the best of my ability.
       71. You asked me to send a little note to let you know if I received it, and yes, I most certainly did, and will cherish you and these words always. Thank you for praying for me. Thank you for having faith in me and not giving up on me.
       72. Prior to my trip here I had asked the Lord to please speak to me (I don't have a lot of faith in my own gift), and He did encourage me. He told me to get my feet back in the stirrups and sit tightl y in the saddle of my revolutionary horse and keep on going ahead. He explained that some folks were ahead of me and some are behind, but we are all in the race and heading for the finish line. He said that this was not a competitive race and that I could go at my own pace, starting with a walk, build up slowly to a trot, a canter, and eventually a gallop. Jesus explained that I should not be jealous if my mate was ahead of me.
       73. Also, because I knew I was being attacked by the Enemy, the Lo rd said that I was not militant enough against the ­Enemy, and that I needed to stir myself up more when rebuking the Devil and fight more. I don't have the prophecy with me, but it encouraged me a great deal. In another prophecy the Lord told me that when He was on Earth He could feel the emotions of a woman, not only those of a man. He reassured me that He could truly under­stand my battles--the comparisons that women make, the emotional upsets that come when a woman begins to see all that gra y hair and wrinkles, etc. He said that He was touched with all our infirmities, but I never actually thought that that would include the differences that men and woman have. I was really inspired with this prophecy. Thank You Jesus!
       74. Once again, Mama, thank you forever and always. I hope and pray that if and when I do write again it will be to tell you good news and that I overcame. I love you and Peter so much.--Till we meet face to face in His Heavenly Kingdom. (End of excerpts of respons e to Mama's letter.)
       (Note: You will be happy to know that this couple is still together and they are continuing to make progress. Of course, they still are learning lessons, as we all are, but they are fighting and winning victories. PTL!)

Ongoing Relationships via Mail,
E-mail, and Phone

       75.(Mama:) There are quite a few situations in which married people have gotten deeply and romantically involved with someone outside their marriage. This can happen from time to time as we live the L aw of Love, and such relationships can be a great blessing and can bring about a lot of positive results in the lives of all involved. Even though some difficulties do arise when a married person is emotionally involved with someone outside their marriage, as the mated couple seek the Lord together they often learn valuable lessons and become stronger and more unified as a result.
       76. There are, on the other hand, some out­side relationships that have been damaging to marriages.
Sometimes the Lord eventually brings about a change in such relationships by having one of the parties move to a different Home, area, or field. But sometimes the problems in the marriage that were brought on because of the outside relationship continue even after the circumstances change be­cause the in-love married person continues to carry on a very involved emotional relationship with his or her lover via mail, e-mail, or phone. When we prayed about these types of situations and how they should be handled , Dad gave the following counsel.

       77.(Dad speaking:) Love relationships are very delicate matters, especially when one of the people involved in the relationship is already married to someone else. Emotions are compli­cated and hard to understand, and engaging in a love relationship with someone other than your mate takes a lot of prayer, love, and wisdom in order to handle it correctly. These relationships are not necessarily wrong in themselves. If they are the Lord's will, in His time, a nd are handled according to the Law of Love, they often result in very good fruit, even though they might initially or even for a period of time cause some strain on the marriage. Even the difficulties that arise in such situations can result in the husband and wife getting more desperate with the Lord and the marriage even being strengthened through that, as they come together as a couple and fight together in spirit to maintain their marriage at the same time as they're handling the outside re lation­ship.
       78.In some cases the Lord allows emotions to develop between a married person and a third party for a time. Sometimes it's for the purpose of teaching those involved lessons about living the Law of Love or sharing or giving. Perhaps it's to encourage someone who's in need of love, attention, and affection. The Lord blesses such a relationship as long as it's within His will and in His time. But those involved need to be careful that they're following the Lord's timetable, and whe n it's His time to bring it to a close, that they gracefully and lovingly do so.
       79.Sometimes after the Lord has shown those in the outside relationship to part ways by having one of them move to another Home, area, or field, they push to continue their relationship in spite of the change in circumstances. Even when the Lord has made it clear that it's His will to minimize the relationship or leave it behind, they try to continue the relationship in whatever way they can--usually by mail, e-m ail, phone, etc. This can be quite difficult for the other married person.
       80.As a married man or woman, you have a responsibility toward your mate. If continuing to communicate with a former lover through mail or e-mail or talking with that person regularly on the phone is causing your mate unnecessary trials, then it's your responsibility to seek the Lord about it and do whatever is necessary, in love, for the sake of your mate. In many cases this will mean asking the Lord to help you to no t continue to stoke the fires of emotional, in-love feelings through such regular com­mu­nications.
       81.There's no across-the-board rule as far as whether you can keep a love relationship going through the mail. But I would say that in most cases it's really not necessary and doesn't bear good fruit. It causes you to go through trials missing the person that you're involved with, and it also causes your mate to go through trials--continually being reminded of your “old flame” and the trials of the past. Also, this continued emotional contact will probably be a distraction to both you and your former lover, causing you to look to the past rather than to what the Lord is doing in your life today and what He wants to do in the future. These regular reminders of what you've left behind can cause you to be discontent, and can even cause you to miss some of the blessings that the Lord is bringing your way today.
       82. Many of those who communicate in this way do so secretively.
If you're m arried, that means it's something you do without your mate being aware, or at least not fully aware, of the extent to which you're communicating; or you sort of sneak it, which can cause your mate to be suspicious and can bring a bit of division ­between you. You can get to the point where you waste a lot of time daydreaming and fantasizing about the one you left behind. An outside relationship that the Lord may have allowed or ordained in your life for a time, to teach both you and your mate le ssons and beautiful things, may turn into something unfruitful if it's no longer the Lord's time for it but you insist on continuing it.
       83.Remember, if you're married your first respon­si­bility is toward your mate. If something isn't bearing good fruit, even long-distance com­muni­ca­tions, then pray and seek the Lord about it. That doesn't mean that you have to forget all about the person that you were close to. You can still pray for that person and possibly write occasionally, if you lik e, and if your mate agrees and the Lord shows you specifically that it's His will to do so. Sometimes it's better, however, when you know the Lord wants you to cut off the emotional involvement of a relationship, that you either dramatically decrease it or cut it out al­together for a while, until such time as you don't have that emotional pull and you can just communi­cate as friends. But the constant communications and stoking the fires of an outside relationship from a distance when it's no l onger the Lord's will can cause a lot of damage to a marriage.
       84.You have to seek the Lord for your per­sonal situation. But I'd say that in general it's not wise to feed and nurture long-distance love relation­ships, especially if you're mated and it's putting a strain on your marriage. To determine if such a relationship is bearing good or bad fruit, you might need to counsel with your shepherds, as well as ask the Lord to show you His will in prophecy. You can't go just by your feelings, nor can you go by the reaction of your mate, who might be trying very hard to continue to be giving and yielded, while feeling quite sad and threatened by the situation. In most cases, the loving thing would be to put an end to the long-distance relationship, at least temporarily, or greatly cut back on the communication, and strengthen the marriage the Lord has blessed you with. (End of message from Dad.)

Should You Share
Intimate Details of Your Times
With Others with Your Mate?

       85.(Qu estion:)When mated people share sexually with others, it's difficult sometimes to know how honest they should be with each other about the little details of their inter­actions with others. If you're jealous, it can be very difficult to hear details about the sex or special moments that your mate has with someone else. Therefore it seems it would be wiser for the mate who is having sex with someone else to perhaps not talk about everything that happened or describe it in detail. But often if yo u are jealous, you want to know all the details of what went on during your mate's dates, in the hope that you'll be reassured that everything's okay and that you're still important and loved by your mate.
       86.What's more important?--To be completely and entirely honest, holding nothing whatsoever back from your mate, including the details of fleeting emotional feelings or special moments shared with another during sex? Or should you be mindful of your mate's feelings and not divulge every lit tle detail that isn't that important? Of course, it goes without saying that your mate would need to know the general situation and be in agreement with what is happening.

       87.(Mama:) This is a common question. There's a lot of important counsel already published about how and when to communicate with your mate about emotions you might develop for someone else in “Living the Lord's Law of Love--Part 3,” ML #3203:95-172, GN 806. There are also specifics that you need to communicate with your mate about regarding your sexual activities, such as whether you're going to fuck. But the following counsel is primarily about whether it's helpful for a jealous person to know the nitty-gritty details about what goes on during his or her mate's times of sharing sexually with others.

       88.(Jesus speaking:) Honesty in relationships is very important, but it can be very difficult and even tricky at times to know how honest and open to be concerning your relations with others outside your marri age. If the marriage is strong and communication is regular and forthright in all areas of the couple's lives, then there's a greater possibility that they can be more and more honest about their relations with others.
       89.But usually it's not necessary to get into all the details of your dates with others with your mate--not because you want to be dishonest, but because the Devil can make mountains out of molehills and make things seem or appear to your mate to be much greater than they reall y are. Sometimes in the heat of the moment of passion, the mate that is having sex with someone else can have euphoric feelings momentarily, but these are fleeting emotions that have little effect on the person's life or their marriage or relationship with their mate. So sharing with your mate about all the intimacy and moments of passion that you have with others on dates can be easily misunderstood and given much more importance than actually is the case.
       90.If a marriage is mature and stro ng, and both mates understand these principles, they will not delve into these momentary passions or intimacies that their mate has with others on occasional dates. Instead they will focus on building a lasting relationship through assurance, love, kind deeds, and the many other actions and acts of love that they perform daily in ministering to their mate.
       91.A wise, mature mate knows it's best not to delve too deeply and demand complete honesty concerning these momentary fleeting intimacies that their mate has with others, for they know that this happens to My brides who have sex and physical intimacy, because it is My love that is being shared with the other person. And if it's truly My love, it wants to give and make others happy and make others feel loved, encouraged, attractive and desirable, so that they can go on and do a better job for Me.
       92.This is the purpose of mates sharing with others--to help and inspire others; to share My love and their love as a couple with othe r people; to draw others into My Kingdom by drawing them into their circle of love as well. So it's good to be honest in marriage concerning relationships, but the couple must handle it wisely and lovingly and be careful not to put too much stock in the little moments that they're away from each other, thereby allowing the Devil to blow up a little sharing of My love into more than it really is.
       93.You who have given love to another should immediately, upon returning to your mate, shower him or her with lots and lots of assurance and love. You should be very vocal in your apprecia­tion, verbalizing the sacrifice your mate made and how proud you are of him or her. You should be affectionate, warm, interested in your mate, and willing to pray and talk together a little while before retiring for the night. You should not just come back to your bedroom tired, spent, and ready to sleep. Even if you're tired from pouring out, listening, and making love, you should ask Me for a little extr a strength and energy so you can give love and assurance to your mate. This will make matters go much more easily, and will help your mate to relax and feel more at peace and less threatened or worried about the future.
       94.The person who has shared their mate should be more interested in the reassurance from their mate that they are still loved and desired, that they're still the most important to them and still a true mate, than they should be in hearing the details of their mate's time with others, especially the details about the sex that was shared.
       95.To encourage your mate for having shared My love with others is wisdom, because you can never outgive Me. The more you give and share, the more I will give back to you in spiritual strength, love, wisdom, understanding, courage, and testimonies to share with others. Many other aspects of your spiritual life will be strengthened as you pour out, for My love knows no limits. He that withholds tends to poverty, but he that scatter s abroad, increases. I will increase My love in the hearts and lives of those who share their mates lovingly, giving to meet the needs of others, drawing others into their marriage circle, and making My Family One Wife. (End of message from Jesus.)

       96.(Mama:) Another thing to keep in mind is that if your mate is having a date with someone that they spend time with very infrequently, then of course they'll put more into their date with that person and make it more concentrated attention and sex than if they had a date every week. Your mate will probably put more into the very occasional date than he or she does on the average date with you, because you have lots of dates together. This is not to be interpreted that your mate loves that other person more than you, or that they're more sexually attracted to the other person. It's normal to put your best foot forward and give it your best shot when you have rare opportunities to have a date with someone other than your mate and to sho w them your and the Lord's love. But, like this message explains, those who are married have many frequent and varied ways to show their love for one another, so you shouldn't compare. Of course, there should also be times when married couples put a lot into their dates as well, but it usually doesn't happen every time.
       97.Please pay special attention to the para­graph in the preceding prophecy about the need for the married person who has had sex with someone else to be warm, affectionate an d re­assuring to their mate when they're reunited. This is extremely important. Along the same lines, one reason that I don't feel the need to know all the details of Peter's dates is because I feel so reassured constantly of his love for me and I know Peter is very prayerful. I know he consults with me; I know he isn't going to extremes and that he isn't trying to hide anything; therefore, I don't really want to know everything because I don't want to afterward become jealous or put that tempta tion in my way.

Deliverance from the Spirit of Rage!
Lessons on United Prayer
--Helpful for All!

       98.The following is a personal prayer request shared with the Home by one of our members. She'd had a friendship/relationship with one of the men in our Home, and then after several years that man got emotionally involved with someone else. Even though he tried to be very prayerful and was praying desperately and moving according to the Lord's leading, this change still caused this dear woman to have jealousy and emotional battles. That is a natural reaction. She bravely and faithfully took her battles to the Lord and heard from Him in prophecy. The following testimony is a transcript of excerpts of her prayer request, which is not only a very good example of humility, but also is chock-full of lessons that we can all benefit from.
       99.Though there are many lessons in this experience,I want to draw your attention in advance to the part of the prophecy below that says, “This battl e will be won through united prayer.” That's a pretty heavy statement, because most people probably don't fully realize the import­ance of united prayer in winning these victories. It probably was quite a revelation to this person when the Lord told her that this battle will be won through united prayer, because in united prayer, what do you do? Yes, you have to humble yourself, but that's basically all! You just ask, and then the Lord gives you a tremendous breakthrough and a wonderful miracle through united prayer. He brings all the forces of Heaven to work on your side and on your behalf, and He does what you can't do; He breaks those chains. I don't really think you, dear Family, have yet come to fully realize the tremendous value of united prayer in your battles, or I think you would be more willing to ask for united prayer, like many of the members of our Home have done and continue to do, no matter how humbling it may be.
       100.These lessons bring out how the Devil tries to get you to feel that asking for united prayer is just going through the motions, because what is it? It's such a simple little thing. You just gather everybody together and ask them for prayer, and then you're supposed to see a marvelous deliverance. He tries to get you to feel like, “Well, how can you get any big results from so little effort, just a little humility and asking in prayer for something? How can so little expenditure of energy result in something so awesome?” But the Lord says that j ust “going through the motions” is very, very important. He says these motions are “much, much more effective than you could imagine.”
       101.Please think about these things as you read about this dear one's faith-building experi­ence. Praise the Lord!

       102.(Home member prays:) Jesus, please bless and help me to share my prayer request and give You the glory for the wonderful vic­tor­ies You've given me already. The victories that You're bringing about in my life have been worth every test a nd trial; they outweigh any of the battles and have been worth fighting for. Amen.
       103. The Lord told me to ask the Home to pray for me.
He said, “As a confirmation that you are willing to do My will … as My seal of approval that I have delivered you completely and will fight for you and give you the victories that you desire … for through it you will have everything you need--the anointing, the grace, the strength, the love--everything.”
       104. I've been battling jealousy the last two months, and along with that I've been hit with intense emotional battles.
I've been jealous of the time and attention that the man I love has had to share with others because of his responsibilities as a shepherd, and the personal love that he's shared with others, not just because it was his responsibility, but because he's wanted to, and the Lord wants him to. We've been close friends for a long time, and we still are, and it's really selfish of me to not want to share him more.
       105.When I realize d that the Lord was putting this test before me, I didn't think I could make it. I didn't think I could do what Mama has done, or what Peter or Misty or a few others here in the Home have done, and that is to continue to fight and hold on to the victory in spite of the attacks of the Enemy. I thought I was too weak, that I'd probably just quit, or I'd end up being bitter and resentful and tormented and crying all night long type of thing for years and years; or that I would do so badly that it m ight even result in me losing my place of service or having to leave Mama's Home. The Enemy ­really attacked me with fear of failure. I've always been afraid of jealousy battles, and although I've admired others who've fought these battles and have been willing to go through them and have had to humble themselves and ask for united prayer, I just never thought I would be strong enough to go through the same thing and get the victory. But the Lord has shown me that I don't have to be strong; I ju st have to come to Him and depend on Him, and He's never failed to pull me through each battle.
       106.When I prayed about this earlier, the Lord told me to ask a few people in our Home to pray for me first, and He gave me this list of things to ask for prayer for, which I'll read to you now, and then I'll tell you about an amazing miracle that He did for me at that time and a big deliverance He gave me. The Lord said:

       107. The Enemy is really fighting you, and you have to raise a standard a gainst his attacks.
This thing is not of you; this is My doing and I'm allowing it to sharpen you, break you, soften you, and remake you. But you have to continue fighting in order to win the prize. I've allowed you to come to the end of your rope, otherwise the victory might have seemed relatively easy for you and you wouldn't have given Me all the glory. I allowed the battles to intensify and for you to feel that you couldn't make it, so you wouldn't be able to go on without the support of pra yer and the counsel and comfort of My Words and your mates. I've allowed you to slip back into negative thinking, even to the point of almost hardening your heart, so that you would come to this point of united prayer.
       108. This battle will be won through united prayer.
This is the key, because this is the day of the weak--those who are willing to do anything to move forward and follow Me. That's why I allowed the battles to intensify and for you to feel that you were at the end of your rope, and become tempted to quit--so that you would think about asking for united prayer, so that I could perform the complete miracle. (End of excerpt of message from Jesus.)

       109.This is the list of things that He told me to ask for prayer for:

Against the spirit of jealousy.

Against self-righteousness that causes you to feel offended or be critical. Ask Me to remove all of these from your heart, and it will be done, because I love you. Ask Me to wash you from any bad effects of the atta cks of the Enemy, and it will be done because I love you.

For a fighting spirit.

For freedom from the extreme twists and turns of the emotions that have been affecting you so strongly.

       For faith for the future.

For a positive spirit.

Ask Me to put up a wall against the Enemy's lies when he points things out to you or exaggerates things to you to make you feel bad.

Ask specifically that I will help you not to compare.

Ask your mates to pray for you that, when the Enemy comes in so strongly with his flood of lies, fears, and negative comparisons, when he tries to torment you and hurt you by attacking your emotions, I will raise a standard against him. I am more than able to put him in his place and to help you to find sweet relief from the attacks that he's sending your way.

That you will be able to keep your mind stayed on Me and be full of praise, for praise is the victory.

I know it's a natural tendency for you to distance yourself and draw back in order to protect your heart from being hurt. But as I've told you, this will only hurt you even more and would really destroy all the progress you've made, and cause you to be hardened, bitter, and resentful. So you must pray against hardening your heart, and I will do the miracle and turn any feelings of hurt into a softening of your heart.

For the miracle of a grateful heart.

For the miracle that you will completely accept what I'm doing in your life.

That you will not be afraid to flow with My Spirit.

For the miracle that you will not fear the breaking and the tests.

That you will be able to continue to fight and give.

For a real love for any of the women who I want to give My love to through your loved one, or through others.

For a broken heart for these who are in need.

Against the feelings of failure and condemnation, which are a result of the attacks of the Enemy.

Against discouragement.

For the faith to take these steps and for a new begi nning.

For the faith and acceptance that I will do these things for you, and that I will cause you to be a new creature and to have a new heart.

To be free of any resentment; to forsake it and go on and not even think about it again.

For help in being more sacrificial about your loved one having to give more of his time and attention to others now because of his greater responsibilities.

       I'd also like to ask prayer for the following:

Against feeling alone. Sunday is often a b attle for me, not feeling connected to anyone.

I've had a hard time concentrating on my work, being distracted, hit with battles, and forgetting things. Things affect me much more now. I feel sensitive and emotional and often cry.

To be able to keep my mind on the Lord in the night when the Enemy attacks.

Against feeling that others are progressing more than me, and that because of my battles I'm being left behind.

For a deepening of my relationship with the Lord.

       110.After this time of prayer I had with this small group of people, we heard from the Lord and the Lord did a miracle of deliverance for me, a total miracle, something that I never expected or even thought about. Here's what He said when we asked Him for the specific results of the prayers:

       111.(Jesus speaking:) Victory, victory! Shout the victory, for he goes down--down, down to the depths of Hell, down to the netherworld where he belongs! Shout the victory; for this one goes down. He is the Enemy of your soul, the one who has sought to destroy your useful­ness, to put out your light, to cause you to doubt My anointing and the gifts that I've given you--the gift of usefulness, the gift of yielded­ness, the gift of wielding the new weapons, the gift of accept­ance, the gift of humility--all these ­precious gifts of the new day that I've given to you, My precious bride. This Evil One has sought to cause you to doubt, to cast away your ­confidence, to turn your face away from Me, to give up your anointing and your place and your power.
       112.Look not at this attack as a light matter, for this has been an attack on your very soul, your life, your mind, your future. But in this moment I have raised a standard against this Evil One, this archdemon, this one called Rage. For is not jealousy the rage of man? But rage is much more than jealousy, for it is by this demon that wars are waged; it is by this demon that murder is committed; it is by this demon that babies are aborted; it is b y this demon that much confusion comes upon the Earth.
       113.You feel humbled and you're even tempted to doubt your worth that such a powerful being of the black world would attack you--you being so small and seemingly so insignificant. But I say that this is an attack on your life and your usefulness to Me and My Family. So think it not a strange thing that such a powerful demon of the dark black world would come to attack your mind, to attack your happiness, to steal away your faith, to cause you to feel unworthy to receive My Words because you feel sinful. You feel distanced from Me; you feel that you're not doing your part, and it causes you to doubt and to lose faith to receive My seeds.
       114.This is the express purpose for these battles; ultimately it is an attack on your usefulness and life of service. This is a great and precious calling, a wonderful gift from My hand, and it's something that you should hold on to with every ounce of strength within you. Hold on to your crow n and fight for it, for it is ­precious, and great is your reward even now, and greater it will be as time passes. For with each day, with each moment of yieldedness and each moment of sucking My seeds, your faith and your anointing grow stronger.
       115.I'm preparing you, so it's no wonder that you're so attacked. But I tell you that even now at this moment, this great and powerful and mighty attacker--your enemy, this vicious demon--has been defeated, because I have raised a standard against h im in answer to your prayers and in honor of your obedience to hear My voice and to follow through and do that which I have shown you to do. To you it seems like a small thing--to hear My voice, to study, to prepare, to accept and receive and believe, and then to call your loved ones for this humble time of prayer. To you it almost seems like you're just going through the motions, but I say that these motions are very powerful in the spirit world, much, much more effective than you could even ­i magine.
       116.For now if you can see it in your mind, this powerful, ugly, horrible, vicious monster of rage has been cast far from you, back to the depths where he belongs. He will not have the power over you that he has had. For you have been tested, and you have passed the test; now I have stayed his power. I have put round about you a force field of angels and new spirit helpers who will fight for you. They are strong and beautiful and powerful. They are magnificent and awesome and gorgeous . They glow with the power of My Spirit, the power of victory, the power of defiance of the Evil One, the power of praise.
       117.So know that even though you'll be tempted, you will not be the same. You will not have the same feelings of discouragement. You will not have the same feelings of hopelessness. You will not have this oppression of the Enemy, for I have defeated him and I have set you free. You are delivered! You are liberated! You are no longer under this evil one's influence, for he is nothing to Me. Though he is strong and though he is powerful in the netherworld, and though he is an archdemon and many people fear him and people worship him, he is nothing to Me, because I am greater; yea, much greater!
       118.So fear not for future attacks. Fear not that things will continue as they were. Fear not that you will not see the change that you hope for. For I say that great has been your deliverance, and great is the power of those Heavenly helpers that I give to you as a gift and as a token of My precious, unending, unconditional love. This is My reward--this deliverance and these new powerful beings who stand by your side, who never sleep, who are never off guard, and who will never fail you, as long as you continue to yield and obey and hear My voice as you have so faithfully done thus far. (End of message from Jesus.)

       119.I was shocked, happy, amazed and thankful for that powerful deliverance from a problem that I didn't know I had! I knew I was having a big battle, and I couldn't understand why it was so difficult, because I was fighting as hard as I could and trying to do all the right things. I wanted to be yielded, but sometimes the battle would be so intense that it was way beyond me. I knew I needed more help, but I didn't realize that I was being oppressed by a scuzzy demon.
       120.You might wonder why I need prayer from the Home if I've already been delivered. Well, the Lord has also told me to have prayer from the whole Home, as a united b ody, and that through that He would complete the victory as His seal of deliverance. So I want to be faithful to follow through and obey what He's told me to do. He said:
       121.Asking for prayer is a confirmation that you are willing to do My will. It will be your official declaration that you need Me. It will be My seal of approval that I will deliver you completely and fight for you and give you the victories that you desire. So fear not to ask for prayer from all your mates, for it is throug h this that you will be given all that you need--the anointing, the grace, the strength, the love--everything. I won't ask of you more than you're able to bear or able to give. Coming before the body will show that you are not strong in yourself, but that you're weak and nothing and in need of Me. (End of message from Jesus.)

       122.So I'd really like you to pray des­per­ately for me, because even though I know the Lord has done it, I know I'm weak and that I can't fight this battle without yo ur help and prayers. I still get tempted and I still get on a ­nega­tive channel, so I really need your prayers to help me keep fighting and keep claiming the victory.

       123.The Lord gave me some points to help me keep my victory, which I'll read to you, and I'd like you to pray for me that I'll fight to do these things and never give up.

(Jesus speaking:)

       1) Review the words that I've given you ­often so that you will stay refreshed as to the wonderful miracle that I've done for you. Pu t up key quotes from My Word that will give you faith to walk in newness of life.

       2) Tell yourself constantly that you are delivered,that the dark power has been ­broken. You're under the influence of your new spirit beings, and your reactions need to be in accord­ance with My Spirit. Whenever you're tempted to react in any of those old ways, remind yourself that you can't do that anymore, because I have delivered you and you need to react in the power of My Spirit.

       3) Show more imparti al love to all; manifest the soft heart that I've given you. I now wish for you to let your heart lead you to be softer in your reactions to others, more loving. Give first place to others. Be apologetic when you should be. Be more physically affectionate with others. Listen more to others and show an interest in them.

       4) Determine in your heart that you're happy. Be positive. Only speak positive things and remind yourself of all the good things and blessings that you have. Think positively. Speak positively. Remind yourself constantly that this is My will.

       5) Don't be jealous. Tell yourself constantly that you've been delivered and you don't have to be jealous. Get prayer when you're tempted.

       6) Don't yield to pride or self-righteousness, and when you feel you are going in that direction, stop and correct it. Apologize for wrong reactions. Ask for prayer when you feel you need it.

       7) Keep up your Word time every day, and don't let down your guard in this area. You need My Word more than ever; you need the strength­en­ing and healing touch and soothing balm of My faith-building Word. So read it, absorb it, and let My Spirit speak to you.

       8) Whenever you're tempted to feel resent­ment or jealousy, just tell yourself, “I've closed the door to that and I don't feel that way anymore. I've been delivered.”

       9) Forget the past completely. Don't allow one thought of the past that brings up any negative influences over your spirit. If you feel negative in any w ay about anything, pray and ask Me to give you positive thoughts about it. Then think those positive thoughts over and over.

       10) Sing faith-building songs, songs of love and praise.

       11) Tell yourself every day that you're not the same;you've passed the test and now you can go on to new reactions. Ask Me for the reactions if you don't know what they should be. Go out of your way to act differently, be even more extreme, and go overboard in some of your reactions to counter­balance all th e negative influences that you've been subjected to.

       12) If you feel negative, act positive; if you feel unattractive, act as if you're beautiful; if you feel uninspired, act inspired.

       13) Remind yourself that you're in My perfect will, being used of Me in the way that I want, that you will grow in your place of service and that you will be very happy.

       14) Be even more enthusiastic and giving of your love. This is important, because the ­Enemy has really tried to cut off your connect ion with Me by causing you to harden your heart. But I say that you should love more, for this will help to heal and strengthen you. Don't resist or pull back, and if you feel like that, ask for prayer.

       15) Don't worry about failing or losing your power or this victory. You can't lose it as long as you keep fighting and yielding. Trust Me. Rebuke the lies of the Enemy that you can't keep this victory; tell yourself that I will keep it through you.

       16) Be open and honest about your battle s; ask for prayer right away. Don't be embarrassed about the temptations that will come along, but realize that you have new power now, and part of that power is to be more honest, open and humble.

       17) Believe that I've given you the gifts of usefulness, yieldedness, acceptance, wielding the new weapons, and humility. Tell yourself that you have these gifts and walk in them. Learn to walk in the anointing of these gifts.

       18) Don't belittle yourself or your calling and place of service. N ot everyone can do what I've called you to do; you're unique and I've made you this way for this time and this place of service. Hold on to your crown and don't let the Enemy discourage you or distract you. Believe that this has been a direct attack on your life and on My Word. See it as I see it in the spirit, as reality, and this will help you to fight.

       19) Believe that I have done all this, even allowed this fierce attack of the Enemy in your life, to prepare you. Believe that this has no t weakened you, but has strengthened you. Your spirit is now more strongly connected to Me than ever before, out of love and gratefulness and humility. You've been humbled by this attack of the Enemy, you've seen how horrible his ways can be, and now you're more desperate to walk even closer to Me.

       20) Exercise your gift of prophecy freely and continually. Hold on to your crown and place of service. Believe that I will bless you and cause you to grow even more in your use of prophecy. You fe el you've reached a plateau in your gift of prophecy, that you can't go any further, but know that I'm preparing you.

       21) Resist the temptation to be self-right­eous in your heart toward anyone. As I've told you, pride and self-righteousness can't enter the new day, and you must resist these temptations by opening your heart more to those you don't find easy to love. I don't ask for perfection, but for steps toward more humility.

       22) Testify of the miracle that I have done and of My answ er to prayer. (End of list of points from Jesus.)

       124.I want to say that if someone like me can get the victory over jealousy, then I believe any­one can. I really believe that. Before, I was tempted to think that of course Mama could get the victory, because she's Mama and she's special to the Lord, so He has to do it for her; or Misty could get the victory, because she works with Mama, so He has to do it for her. But now I realize that it's all the Lord's doing, and He can help anyone. It doesn't mean that I've failed because I've had jealousy battles; it was the Lord's will to help me to grow in the spirit and to teach me these lessons.
       125.I'm very thankful for this time in my life, because I believe it has helped me to have a softer heart and more compassion for others who go through intense battles. I think before I was pretty selfish and secluded in my blessings. I have everything I want--a wonderful place of service, being right here in Mama's Home, all my needs met, an interesting, challenging ministry, a beautiful friend­ship--and I didn't reach out to others very much or appreciate others as much as I should have.
       126. It's also helped me to have my priorities straight as to why I'm here in this Home--to help and serve Mama and Peter and the Family.
Not for myself, or my love relationships, or anything that I can get out of it. It's my heart's desire to keep going forward and be willing to do whatever the Lord asks of me, and to just be here for Him.
       12 7. He's shown me the wonderful blessing of coming to Him for the answers each step of the way.
He never failed to encourage me and comfort me along the way, and I think I've received the most beautiful personal prophecies that I've ever received in the last months. I ­really had to depend on Him and He never failed. It encouraged me that I can go to Him for answers even when I'm emotionally involved in a situation--that He does answer and will tell me what I need to know.
       128.It's helped me t o be much more open and honest in my communications and to share my heart about the things I'm going through. I've had to go to others more for prayer, and I've realized what a tremendous blessing it is; because every time I did, the Lord blessed it and helped me to pull through the battle. I used to feel embarrassed about being jealous, but now I don't mind that so much because I've seen the good fruit it has borne in my life. It's helped me to be much more stirred up in the spirit, to suck des perately from the Word and be fed. I've been living more in the Word and drinking in the Word. I have so many new quotes in my quote book and on my walls.
       129.It's helped me not to be afraid of being jealous, because I'm already jealous; and even though it's a battle, I see that it's not imposs­ible to overcome with the Lord's help. Other battles can be just as intense and you have to fight just as hard to overcome and get the victory. Being jealous doesn't have to be any worse in comparison to other battles, as long as I keep yielding to the Lord and fighting.
       130. He's also given me new spirit helpers and lots of wonderful personal prophecies to hold on to.
I read them every day and count my blessings. Plus I'm still here in the Home; Mama and Peter haven't given up on me and kicked me out in spite of my battles. I feel blessed and loved and deeply trusted by the Lord. He continues to trust me and have faith in me that I can do the ministry He's called me to and continue to be u sed. I don't have to be good or perfect to make it, I just have to hold on and keep fighting.
       131.Thank you for praying for me. I think if I could summarize this prayer request, it would be that I'll continue to hold on, have a positive spirit and a thankful heart, that I'll walk in the victory the Lord has given me, and be more humble, loving, and giving.

Added later:

       132. I was surprised when the Lord told me that the victory would come through united prayer.
It was like united prayer from the whole body was the last step in sealing the victory.
       133. I must admit that because the battle was so intense,
I didn't really, really, really believe that this single, seemingly small step of asking for united prayer was going to be enough to make the kind of difference that I felt I needed and bring about the kind of victory I needed. I guess we don't realize what an important factor united prayer is in winning battles. It's amazing!
       134. When I was in the midst of that huge spiri tual battle, I asked for united prayer out of obedience
because the Lord told me to and because I knew it was good and would help, but I didn't realize what an important factor it was. The Lord even told me that it was the key to the victory, but because I was feeling so rotten and pressured in the spirit and feeling the effects of the battle, in the natural it just didn't seem like it would be enough to do the trick. But the Lord really works through united prayer and it was an important factor in me winning a major victory. I don't know why He works that way; maybe because it's so good for our pride to have united prayer.
       135. Of course, there were battles afterwards.
It's not like I was immediately delivered from all the emotions and temptations to think negatively, etc., but I had supernatural power to fight. I'm amazed now when I look back; I can hardly believe that I kept fighting, because I know it wasn't in me. I don't know where I got the strength from--it was simply a gift from the Lord, the gift of fighting. I wouldn't want to have to repeat that battle, but I'm happy I went through it because it really proved to me that you don't die from jealousy. You just begin a new life after you win the battle. (End of testimony.)

“As a Man Thinketh In His Heart,
So Is He”

       136.(Mama:) Through all those points that the Lord asked this dear one to do, points of instruction for her, it shows, like He said before, that the battlefield is in your mind. Once you're deliver ed, the battlefield is still in your mind and the choice is whether you're going to accept the deliver­ance or not. The Lord has done it already; He has fought the battle for you and He has won. So the only battle that's left is in your mind, with the Devil telling you, “No, you don't have the victory,” and the Lord telling you, “Yes, you do!”
       137. The battle of deliverance has already been won.
The Lord has won the victory and set you free from the oppression of the Enemy, but now your part i s that you have to agree with that. You have to confirm that, to reinforce that, to continually support the Lord in that victory; otherwise, you can lose it, if you refuse to accept it, because as the Word says, “According to your faith be it unto you.” That is, if you keep refusing to accept it on a regular basis, then you won't have it. If you have battles and sometimes you think, “Oh, well, I didn't get the victory after all,” that doesn't mean you're not going to have the victory. But if you consistently, constantly say, “No, I didn't get the victory,” and you live as though you didn't, well, then you won't have it because you've rejected it. Even though the Lord has given it to you, you've pushed it away and rejected it.
       138. I don't remember any prophecy where the Lord has emphasized this point so much.
He says, “Tell yourself constantly that you're delivered … remind yourself that you can't do that anymore … determine in your heart that you are happy … remind yourself of all t he good things and blessings you have … think positively … remind yourself constantly that this is My will … tell yourself constantly that you've been delivered and you don't have to be jealous … tell yourself, 'I've closed the door to that and I don't feel that way anymore. I've been delivered' … think those positive thoughts over and over … tell yourself every day that you're not the same person … ask Me for the reactions if you don't know what they should be … go out of your way to act differ ently, be even more extreme, and go overboard … if you feel negative, act positive; if you feel unattractive, act as if you're beautiful; if you feel uninspired, act inspired … remind yourself that you're in My perfect will … be even more enthusiastic and giving of your love … tell yourself that you have these gifts.”
       139.It's all the way through, and it goes perfectly with the verse, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he” (Pro.23:7). That's probably similar to the motto of the Christian Scientists, but I'm sure they can take this to extremes if they don't have the Lord to build on, and if He isn't in their heart then it's just a mental thing. But we have the real power of Jesus, our Savior and Lover, and we have His help, so when we think His thoughts, then He is the One that transforms us and He's the One that does it. We don't do it. Even though we have to do our part to think those thoughts and do what He tells us to do, He is the One that gives us the power to do it. We can think them, but they won't have as much effect, or any lasting effect, unless He does the work in our lives and makes us new creatures.
       140. I thought it would be interesting to hear the Lord's explanation of the difference between what He's telling us to do in this prophecy and that popular idea that you can will yourself in your own mind to be a certain way or do certain things. Of course, people who emphasize positive thinking or the power of the mind can to a certain extent change their b ehavior or even their moods. They can go a long way in that, but they can't go as far as we can because they don't have the power of the Lord and the power of the Spirit to completely change lives with miracle-working power.
       141.If someone doesn't have the power of the Spirit, if they haven't accepted Jesus into their heart and thereby gained access to His miracle-working, life-transforming power, they can act a certain way, and to a certain extent it will help and their minds will help them, but they can only go so far. Here is a message from the Lord on this subject:

       142.(Jesus speaking:) The verse from My Word, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he,” is just as true as ever. The Christian Scientists and others like them have a great measure of truth in their philosophy about the mind and the power that you have to change just by thinking positively. They just missed it on one little point, which makes all the difference. That is: You can't do it without Me.
       143.The tr uth is, your mind does have great power. Your thoughts are what make you what you are. If you're thinking positive thoughts, your reactions to things become more and more positive. If you have a problem with something, much of the battle is won or lost in your thoughts. But there's one key element that you can't do without, and that is that you need My help first of all.
       144.As I've said many times, the first step to victory is to call out to Me for help, but once you do that, I give you the victory. Then it's up to you to hold on to the victory. And how do you do that? By believing that you have it and acting as if you have it! It's not faking it; it's not deceptive or deceitful--it's a principle of faith. You can believe that you have it by faith because I've promised to give it to you.
       145. Acting on your victory is just as important as asking Me for it in the first place.
Because if you ask Me for the victory, but then don't do anything about it, you'll probably slip right bac k into your old habits and thought patterns. You have to go on the attack and believe that you have the victory--whether you feel it or not--and make a conscious effort to think those thoughts of victory, to think the way you should be thinking, not the way that's natural for you to think. You have to make a conscious effort to do the things you know you should, to act on your victory, to take the little steps of obedience.
       146.Do you understand the difference? People who have learned to reco gnize the power of their thoughts, like the Christian Scientists and others, have a measure of success because they emphasize positive thinking, which is so im­portant. And for some people in the world, that's all they have to hang on to, because they don't know Me. But if something from the spirit world is hindering them, they can't have full victory without My help. Those victories must first be won with prayer; otherwise it's futile to act like you have the victory if you don't really have it .
       147.But you, My children, and anyone who calls out to Me, can be assured that when you call out to Me for the victory and fulfill the conditions that I've laid out for you, it is given to you! Then, you begin the process of claiming it by faith. And in that case, because you really have it, you simply have to start acting like it, and then you will feel it, and you will be ­different, you will be changed! You do have the ­victory!
       148.The mind has tremendous power. Your thoughts have tre mendous power. Your prayers have tremendous power. Your praises have tremendous power. All those things make you what you are. So think positively! And right after you have asked for prayer, ask Me how you should be thinking, and then, from that point on, make a conscious effort to think that way! And then take it a step further and do the things you know you should do--do the giving, the loving, the obeying, the humble thing. That's called “putting feet to your prayers,” “living in the victory I've given you,” “claiming it by faith!” That's your part, the part that you can do! It's an unbeatable combination--My power, which is loosed to help you when you ask, and your determination to think positively and act as if you have the victory. Together, they will bring a solid, lasting victory for My glory! (End of mess­age from Jesus.)

       149. (Mama:) You'll notice in the above pro­phecy that there is a strong connection between thinking the right thoughts and doing the right things! It's not enough to just accept the deliverance in your mind. You must go a step further and act on the victory, live the victory, let the change be manifested in your actions, not just your thoughts. If you've had prayer against jealousy, then you have to accept the victory by not only entertaining the right positive thoughts, but also by doing the little loving or giving acts that the Lord shows you to do. Even if it would have been impossible to do such things before you had prayer, if you'll step out by faith to try, you'll see the Lord come through for you. What you weren't able to do before will be possible, because the Lord will have changed you. As you do what the Lord shows you day by day to live your victory, you'll see it manifested more and more in your reactions, actions and daily life.
       150. This doesn't just hold true for deliver­ance from jealousy. It's applicable to all spiritual problems. For example, say you have united prayer against pride. When you call out to the Lord in desperation, He does the miracle of deliverance and breaks those chains of pride. He frees you the moment you ask Him to. But then, if you want to hang on to your victory, you need to accept it, live it, act on it. You need to do the humble things the Lord brings to your attention. You'll see that what would have absolutely killed your pride before and been impossible for you will now be doable, because the Lord will have changed your spirit.
       151. Your thoughts are important, but positive t houghts are not enough. They must become action. They must be transformed into little deeds of obedience and yieldedness. As you combine your new thought patterns and reactions with behavior that reflects the victory the Lord has given you, you will go from strength to strength. Praise the Lord!
       152.God bless you, dear Family. I pray these lessons and clarifications help you to feel strengthened and encouraged. But not only that, I pray that they will help you to be prayerful, kind and loving in your living the Law of Love so we will not be distracted from our main job of reaching the lost due to hurt feelings, problems, and lots of wasted time! Let's work to make the Law of Love the wonderful, miraculous testimony it can be and needs to be, so that those who visit our Homes and know us personally will see the Lord's love in action. “By this shall all men know that you are My disciples, if you have love one to another!” (John 13:35).
       Much love in our wonderful Husband,