In Reply to: Responsiblity & decisions to stay in posted by Albatross (reposted) on February 17, 2004 at 19:30:51:
You see, when I joined, I hardly had any idea, what the Bible said; and by hearing & comparing testimonies, it was with most FGAs like that...at least around the time I joined 76 & onward...I met few people in TF who had a deep knowledge of the Bible beforehand...I was into Buddhism, Asian religions & esoteric stuff.In the poor boy-club I joined, I heard for the first time verses from the sermon on the mountain, that I shouldn't worry about what to eat etc...the night I visited, I joined, I thought, TF is really radical...otherwise I would've gone to India one day, to join some Guru,because of the spiritual emptyness I felt.If you never had that, you wouldn't know, how it felt, when Jesus came into my heart.Day after I joined,
I had a Daniel 2 class...I could hardly believe, that that was in the Bible.I thought of how much I missed in not reading the book...but at the same time, TF was crucial for having all that made possible.So there was some real thankfulness in the beginning..
And yes, I also gobbled that stuff up of Berg being the endtime prophet...it takes real good teaching to see, that there was a deception...when things weren't fulfilled, that's when the first left...since it was before my time, I read Berg's excuses...I accepted them...WS painted a picture of how hice it was at his home, glowing reports, him so humble, loving & so frugally living...I gave him the benefit of the doubt in spite of heavy media onslaught (not the same as persecution!!)..& at that time, yes, I thought it was persecution, us the comparatively few chosen, you swell with pride & satisfaction...
In the beginning you either married or didn't have sex...everything else was in the letters "only"...
like FFing;for FFing quite a few verses were given
& that is to me the key: VERSES TAKEN OUT OF CONTEXT pretended an authority Berg supposing to have, explaining us God's endtime children how to behave,live etc..Alright, if you read real careful, as some may be did, they caught things earlier.
Yes I liked, that TF wasn't so formal & stiff as the churches I knew...there were not that many children around when I joined & the ones I knew, seemed all happy to share their verses, sing a song or read to me from a book at a very young age, I was impressed...really!!!
Then there was the possibility to go abroad, few don't like to travel...Food was better, than I was allowing myself before, remember I was on the "ascetic-trip"...so it did't seem like a huge sacrifice to me...real bad I felt about begging...
I got over it, thinking the public gets so much more in spiritual terms, but odd, it sometimes felt like just a job - especially versus the end -
I didn't witness any teenager being molested or any children or being raped or...so the time I got out, was when I didn't appreciate the Combo-vision 1989 & we were cut while back in Italy, because the others were inner circle etc...I needed personal negative experiences with TF...it didn't look like 1993 would be it....You see, many didn' t dare to leave for fear, that GOD would be angry with them.
PLEASE, PLEASE bear in mind, it`s not just about some powerhungy sexmaniac & groupleader...cult is
religious & this one dealt especially with the GOD of the Bible...that struck fear in us...believe it or not...not obeying something was not an easy option...if it was not dangerous to anyone, why, you obeyed...that's me at least...if you had to sacrifice something, well, if it got explained by some verses etc. yes, unfortunately we gobbled that up.
We were less trained & versed about spiritual things, than we imagined in our pride, which usually comes before a heavy fall...we thought, we knew better, than the rest of the churches...pretty
strong delusions...what was in our favour was, that other churches really did fail & we knew at least some of their big mistakes...but we were quite blind to our own...I'd say, I got out by the mercies of God, cause my exmate liked TF even less than I did, she was the driving force, so to speak...I give her credit for that.So I reason, that if you happen to be an agnostic or atheist, you can hardly grasp the impact, which a "Bible teacher" has on a newly convert, the latter looks up in respect to the first & the pupil is seldom quickly smarter about these new issues of spiritual life than that old false prophet.Remember, delusions & false prophecies were already around in OT-times.To my view it's a bit simplistic to say,
why did't everyone grasp it earlier, that this is rubbish.You don't expect God to give you stones instead of bread, so even if you see a "stoney road", you think for a while it's great, all that trouble, that resistance...it takes you some time, to believe, that HE's not happy with you in TF...
Alright, that doesn't make sense to an atheist, but to us, who wanted to serve Jesus, we didn't want to be counted as people, giving up easily, at least, that is true for me...Why people stayed even longer than that, somebody else can share ; )