Posted by Farmer on October 01, 2011 at 01:56:41
In Reply to: Re: To Long Time Exer and Farmer posted by A a a c on September 30, 2011 at 12:48:27:
Dear Aaac...even Aaach is possible ; ) it's kind of like Ach in German...exclamation similar to alas...oh dear...I wrecked a bit my brain from your onset of descibing your situation.. about who & what it could be...I read only 2 books relating to TFI-abuse...the one of Deborah 11 years ago and the other of the 3... you know probably what....Anyway...I thought the most troublesome situation is for you or any for that matter...where the predator/abuser is kind of part of the "extended family"...worse of course a close relative...a bit less:like a stepfather.
I thought...how on earth did they get ahold of your number etc...well, it makes more sense, if you are somewhat related and then you can't so easily go into hiding ..you might feel otherwise, you "deserted" the daughter and the grandson...what if they met you later and then ask question why you "split"...though totally your right....so if you don't go into hiding, you fear, they could find more and more out about you and from your reaction, about that evil past and the publication...is that what you mean???...your concern
(I came just from work...so pls excuse my unrefined writing)...first of...if you had just been abused here in Germany by some member of the clergy...well, then I'd advise you to go to officials and they would contact the police...from what I remember both bigger churches vowed now to work together with the legal authorities and that should result in prosecution...see, where TFI stands until today?!!!
With some crimes, the state attorney takes over no matter whether the victim chooses to forgive, from what I understand...and I think it's better like that.I believe in forgiveness...but also having to pay for wrong decisions/sins/crimes etc.
Now in a Fritzl/Austria...or Kampusch-case...it would be also the advise, to immediately seek the authorities....another argument in favour is to prevent worse things to happen etc.
Just to say, your abuser got it easier now, thanks to you...so are you trying to relieve that family of any/ all pain...how could you achieve that? retracting any publication...saying if confronted...that you made it up??I don't get it/I doubt that, sorry for over-simplifying the matter
...you want to help...I see in you a super, super caring...concerned person...for the welfare of others...that's why I think you are really wonderful...with saintly behaviour.How do you know, that that current union of them is the utmost best for them?
I bet you wouldn't force the situation, the revelation of the publication on them...throwing the pub into their face...that is not the way I see you...but how can you avoid chances?...it's beyond your control...and honestly...even if you consider that man to be remorseful...I hope so...then it should be his concern to declare the facts to others...his offspring...bowing his head in shame.Can we expect less than that?...what repentance/remorse would that be.I have higher respect for people who don't hide their ugly deeds...though terrible...they try not to gloss things over.
On the other hand I still marvel, that they haven't had a clue yet, what you wrote...are they still very "Bergian"...TFI-"lovers"...that'd explain alot...we wouldn't have read Deborah's book while in TFI neither.
Aaac(h)....I am very concerned, that you have someone who helps you, protects you, a mate...friends..social helpers..."sane" relatives...What about your relatives...do they get involved???
Anyway...if anyone of TFI..poisoned people dared to trouble you...give them my email and if they write...I tell them off...
The focus is on your healing...help and happiness for you.The ranking of priority is : you first...then probably the grandson...the daughter ...last...so to speak least, your abuser...though not thrown on the scrap-heap...
This thing about abusive behaviour...I am not buying it too much...see, the Catholic church attracted those people, because they have ministries towards children for centuries...it's known.... but little did people know, how many children there would be in TFI...I am not sure that TFI attracted paedophiles.I think therefor of alternatives...fairly "heralthy" people through mind/heartpoisoning dared those experiments in the field of lust
...no one asked how you were feeling
At this point I also wish to apologise to you, that I didn't do more sooner against all that, but just adapting more or less to the TFI-flow of things.
I wish that abuser of yours a profound "rewiring" and a total distancing of that awful...criminal past.He can be happy to still being alive...I don't doubt for a moment, that some untimely deaths of TFI people are some warning signals "from beyond the clouds"...for sure I don't consider it a blessing...martyrdom is entirely different.
Again...I don't mind to repeat myself here...the focus is on your happiness...then...if there are some "leftovers"...fine...let them also be happy...but real happiness also depends on the willingness to see the light/truth...to accept changes etc.
If that daughter is real sweet...like I hope her to be...she should understand you and being in your favour..
I think you expect a lot of yourself???!...to contribute to the happiness of others...if they are innocent...fine...good...but don't forget, what an offender he used to be...that is terrible and you are already super generous...so0 do you want to retract" all the "pubs-copies" ..? can't be...impossible...Just see what happens...
Need to go bed...sorry
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