Posted by Peace on February 18, 2012 at 07:13:36
In Reply to: Re: Spanking kids can cause long-term damage -- Canada study posted by Newsreader on February 08, 2012 at 15:10:11:
I wonder if the issue should be spanking, or violence. Are those two equivalent? I was spanked violently only once in my life, when I was about 4 years old, and still remember it vividly. Did it affect me? Yes, in behaviors that even now I surprise me at over 60 years of age. But I don’t remember the pain or the actual physical part as much as I remember the violence of the act. It definitely left an easy to open scar that hurts a lot.
I am not sure that it affected me in the negative with respect to my children but because I was aware of its effects my reactions to their behavior were for the most part not physical. I purposely tried to be conscious and deliberate on my reaction although a few times I was not and I always apologized for it.
In my view one thing is spankings (an action) and another is violence (the degree or intensity of the action). I have seen verbally abusive people, even visitors to this board, who may never want to get physical. Verbal abuse was rampant in TFI, and always hidden among nice words that would individually convey a different message. The MO letters are full of examples of “I love you further matter”, etc.
Physical violence is another form, and I am not sure if it is worse than verbal violence. Even though I was only spanked once, I was verbally abused multiple times, and I can say that the scars are deeper and more painful dud to these. The emotional depth of verbal violence is worse, in my opinion, that those of physical violence. A spat on the child’s bottom is a low intensity spank but there is no low-intensity verbal violence.
I wish you all love.
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