Posted by CB on February 19, 2012 at 08:25:21
In Reply to: Re: Spanking kids can cause long-term damage -- Canada study posted by Peace on February 18, 2012 at 07:13:36:
You've got a good point. Violence takes many forms. The problem with spanking is that the parent's underlying frustration and anger so easily takes on a life of its own and spins out of control. The repressed anger in the Family is very scary...the leaders got to do "blasting" and the sheep get to take it and turn the other cheek if it was unjustified. Point is, even justified criticism doesn't justify verbally abusive language.
But what makes language seem violent & overly aggressive is a matter if perspective--some people have a higher tolerance than others. Me, I tend to dissociate, so I barely feel the immediate impact. It's only when I'm trying to get back into my skin that I begin to feel what went down.
I probably was not physically violent with my boys re: spanking, but I'm certain I could get verbally violent. I've also had discussions with them about that, particularly when trying to change the dynamic of mutual disrespect. It takes time and patient dialogue to break through defenses that otherwise have served one well.
The interesting thing about interpersonal violence, regardless of the form it takes, is that it tends to take on a life of it's a own and becomes more powerful than the individuals who engage in it.
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