In Reply to: Re: I know... posted by Farmer on February 25, 2009 at 08:04:16:
Hey, Farmer:
You are probably the most consistently sane and polite person posting here (and prolific--where DO you get the time? :-))
Entire STRINGS need to develop carefully; yes. Individual posts are definitely ONLY A--B conversations at first, purposely posted so that others may see; I would HAVE to assume.
An invitation to eventually participate is assumed, and I of course agree with that!
You're right--we can all get in on the conversations, and I do agree to that, but with the understanding of rules of etiqette, as if we were all in the same room, sitting in a circle, and needed to acknowledge certain A--B conversations FIRST, while maintaining our "silence" and an appropriate time to contribute (and not just barging in and insulting someone to someone else!), and follow a certain protocol to try and make them A--B--C conversaions and larger.
Just common-sense courtesy--a skill usually lost to the authoritarianism of being a cult member for a long time, and at times not common enough!
I haven't been dominated by any leaders for quite some time (careful--that can get you fired, in a real-world job!), and have a hard time not responding to it blow-for-blow; an over-reaction on my part.
I feel people should be happy to be treated as my equal, I no longer see myself from within the "theology of worm-dirt" DB required of his supplicant slaves: sorry--there ARE no "Lords of God's heritage" (1Pe5) in MY life, and there never will be again; thank you very much :-)!!!
ALL communication--it just shouldn't be rude. We should also realize that all tones of voice, inflections, inferences and body language are completely absent online, cultures are mixed, etc., et., and so on. Quite a bit is "lost in the translation!"
And, I'll admit it--culturally I can be like the proverbial bull in a china closet; but Americans are justifiably historically resented and currently are even popularly hated without provocation on occasion; even among exers--I've seen the trend and read such comments on other exer boards.
Some posters may even have a left-over resentment of American cult leaders who really "did them dirty"(I was only ever a lowly rank-and-file grunt whose father as a king never panned out), and might project that on me--there are all kinds of weird possibilities--we just need to communicate very kindly, carefully, and sensibly, as I have seen you do, Farmer.
OK--at THIS point I really AM back, as I had to take a potty break, and had a sudden revelation there--when I put my email in the "Optional Email" slot, and someone answers the post I get an email notification regardless--duh--sorry, Reader--I guess you did NOT CC me in your post to Becky--my mistake--mea maxima culpa.
OK, Reader--along with Farmer--I just figure that both reading AND posting here is therapeutic and good for all TF exers, regardless. But, Readrer, don't you feel like a sort of "voyeur" after a while? Are you shy? Do you really think of yourself as superior, or the arbiter of others' lives or comments and observations?
Do you at least take material here and do your own journaling privately for your own mental health purposes, and post-cult recovery? I hope so.
I should probably be journaling. My older sister gave me a blank journal, but I haven't used it.
I really only wish you the best.
But, I will stiil defend against perceived attacks against myself and others. And, my religion requires that I defend the Gospel when called upon to do so--even the most far-left liberal has to acknowledge that right; especially specifically on this Journeys board, under the aegis of the Coordinators' posted rules--no disagreement, there.
I will also try to apologize quickly when I see that I am wrong. Just don't assume I am a fool--you have NOT happened upon your inferior--quite the opposite--I have learned over the years, to my shame, to hurt very deeply with words written and spoken, and I am usually corect in my rebukes--I just do not want to.
In the movie, "Harvey", the protagonist says something like, "When I was younger, I thought it was best to try to be very clever. Now I know it is much better to be very kind, instead".
I am trying to head that way.
I also try to transfer my post to a Word document before posting. It halps correct spelling, etc., and it's easier for me to read it over that way, first. Farmer has said, "...I write/reply before fully reading/grasping/absorbing a text...which is bad...so reading skills (patience...hearing people out) is super important.."
I certainly agree.
OT2