In Reply to: Re: Ok...I start somewhere... posted by long time exer on March 21, 2010 at 11:42:07:
I agree with Long Time Exer about your right to set some boundaries in your own home. Helping her adapt to the outside world includes teaching her the rules for being a good house guest. Taking or using things without asking is a definite no-no, especially if it upsets your children. There doesn't have to be a big confrontation to let her know what the rules of the house are.
You can't control what she does outside your home--if she chooses to drink, that's her business--but you can explain that it's not OK for her to come home intoxicated. Substance abuse is a serious issue for young adults who grew up in TF--it's very often an attempt to manage the psychological distress associated with abuse. Like Long Time Exer, I strongly urge you to look for a counselor to help her (and you) with learning how to live in normal society.