In Reply to: The drinking thing posted by MG on September 13, 2003 at 23:49:14:
What I know about alcoholism is that it's a "thinking disease." By that I mean, even if an alcoholic does not drink, s/he still has problems with irrational beliefs, faulty logic, and character defects like resentment that drive behavioral choices. This is what AA's call "stinkin' thinkin'"
Alcoholics who can keep a quota (for periods of time) call it "controlled drinking" or "maintenance drinking."
Whether or not Peter or Maria keep a quota, they both appear to think like alcoholics. Not surprising, given years spent in Berg's household. That's one reason why alcoholism is called a family disease. Although family members may or may not use, they tend to share the same types of irrational beliefs, faulty logic, and character defects as an alcoholic.
In all my years with Alanon and AA, I have to say that some of the sickest people I've ever met are Alanons--i.e., the family members--because they don't have an obvious problem that brings them to their knees or threatens to kill them. What they DO have is an insidious thinking disease without the physical manifestations of uncontrolled or self-destructive drinking. Often, family members are "emotional drunks"--addicted to chaos, with its highs and lows. As long as things stay crazy, they don't have to take a look at themselves or take responsibility for their part in the family story.