In Reply to: Re: Understanding my fiance posted by Donny on November 24, 2002 at 23:03:25:
I do believe him when he says that he has not been abused. I think that you are correct in your assessment that he does not realize that what has happened to him is abuse. I think that he believes he was acutally a "bad kid" and "lazy" because he didn't enjoy all of the activities and at times complained about participating in them.
I honestly think he was not subject to any sexual abuse. But, as you said, his few choice word about the subject are very revealing. He calims huge feelings of guilt for any desire for matreial gains. He feels guilty for waning to pursue a carreer that may give our family financial stability. I by no means have a desire to be wealthy, and I do not mind living modestly on a missionary income, but I do not believe that wealth is a sin either if it is given by God and used as God directs.
I have tried to discuss the subject on occasion, though much of the time he becomes very anxious when we speak about it. To my knowledge he has only ever told one other friend about his involvement in the group and the subsequent response was very judgemental. I am currently being patient and loving and only asking about as much as he is willing to give. I know that he loves me, is honest with me and will tell me as much as he can when he can.